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4 Bumps

What's your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

I love them all. ALL!

Answer Question

Asked by staciandababy at 2:10 AM on Jul. 2, 2013 in Entertainment

Level 38 (102,010 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I do not know any

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:49 AM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said “of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?”

    Aliens do exist. They’re just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

    All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

    Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

    Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Chuck Norris to live in the White House. The reason for this is because Chuck Norris had won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.

    Answer by Ballad at 4:54 AM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • LOL! Love these, Ballad!

    Answer by Bmat at 7:03 AM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • CHUCK is NO Joke! He is THE MAN!!!! LOL!

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 8:54 AM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.

    Chuck Norris doesnt sleep. He waits.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t use pickup lines, he simply says, “Now.”

    Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

    Answer by emma-s at 9:33 AM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth DOWN!

    Answer by AnonNdrag at 10:02 AM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    Chuck Norris taught Tiger Woods how to play golf and sleep with women.

    Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.

    Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

    Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

    If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

    Chuck Norris doesn't like bugs. Thats why the Beatles stopped making music.

    Chuck Norris once ate a skittle and gave birth to EMINEM!

    Blitzkrieg actually translates to "Second Coming of Chuck Norris" in German.


    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 3:02 AM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • I didn't know this, did you?
    .."After the 2008 presidential election, Norris drafted a letter to President-elect Barack Obama, stating that he should "use and cite the Constitution ... protect American life ... learn from the mistakes of your Democratic predecessors ... [and] lead more from the center".

    Apparently, the letter was lost in the mail...

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 3:09 AM on Jul. 3, 2013

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