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Turns out my son isn't a racist afterall! I need to punch someone in the face for making a big deal out of nothing! *Update* adult content

Just when I think my son can't frustrate me any more, he finds a new way. Since I don't do FB, I am told from time to time about things he posts on there by other friends or family members who feel I should know about certain things.
The latest cause for concern was his use of racial slurs. I absolutely despise the N word & am floored at how he could feel free to use it, esp. in a public forum. He was not brought up that way. I plan to talk to him about this. I just don't understand this child of mine.

I was able to talk to my son & he showed me the comment he made about the whole Paula Deen thing.  He was using sarcasm & said something like "OMG an old white woman from the south used the N word at some point in her life & it's news!" LOL- not THAT sounds more like my son! :p And I'm relieved on 1 hand & wanting to punch my "source' in the face on the other hand! Thanks ladies :) 

 
mrsmom110

Asked by mrsmom110 at 12:40 PM on Jul. 2, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 48 (281,348 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Good to hear your source was wrong!!! some people can't get a story right!!! your good up bringing was not deviated mom!!!!
    older

    Answer by older at 3:26 PM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • Well, you know that the N word is used by almost every rapper out there with songs in the top ten charts...I think this has a lot to do with it...just tell him how distasteful it really is, and why some might take offense.....

    older

    Answer by older at 12:43 PM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • You should set up a FB account so you can see for yourself. You don't have to use it for anything else.

    I have no advice, but let him know it is becoming common practice for potential employers to check out fb pages now. He shouldn't post anything he doesn't want known to the world.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 12:48 PM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • He's an adult, right? I think you can certainly tell him how you feel about what he's said, but there's not much you can really "do" about it. He's an adult, so you can't ground him. I suppose you could take away his phone or something, if you paid for it.

    Bu I also think there comes a point when your child is an adult and should be treated like any other adult. You raised him, taught him right from wrong, and if he chooses to go against that now, maybe it's time to treat him as you would a friend or neighbor who did whatever he does. The mere threat of losing contact with you, for example, *might* be enough to straighten him up.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:56 PM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • I'd take away his electronics until he is mature enough to use social media.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:53 PM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • well one of these days he's going to say it to to wrong person or in the wrong place and he will learn his lesson. Sad white people aren't allowed to use that word without being called a racist but black people throw that word around like its a term of endearment. I can't stand the word.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:53 PM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • It isn't exactly the same, but we went through a stretch with my stepson where he would call his mother and sister terrible names using text messages. Names he would never think of using in person. It turned out he felt cool and powerful, and the anonymity of texting let him free to use words against people he wouldn't have the guts or the incivility to say face to face. Some of that might be true for your son. The particular word he used is taboo in most circles, except rap music, so he probably has gotten a charge out of displaying it without actually having to say it. That doesn't make it okay, but it might make it a teensy bit more understandable for you. Incidentally, my boyfriend gave his son the what-for about calling women, especially his mother and sister, names, and also told him that if you have something like that to say to someone, you look that person in the eyes and say it out loud, in words.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:53 PM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • Then you need to dig deeper into his acquaintances, but you know also that he is an adult now and much of what you say will come in one ear and out the other....if you need a way to get into his FB page, I can lend you my info on FB so you can spy!!!!lol!!! just say the word.....

    older

    Answer by older at 1:15 PM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • The best way to keep an eye on your children on FB is to be on FB... otherwise it's jut hearsay!!

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 1:33 PM on Jul. 2, 2013

  • One of my kids did this when he was about 18 or so. I did nothing. Totally ignored it. He was raised not to say that word, plus he has friends of many races, so I knew he was just trying to be cool and talk like the rappers etc. It didn't reflect his true feelings. When no one reacted he just quit on his own. He was an adult so I let him work through it. And he did
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 1:38 PM on Jul. 2, 2013

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