Back in April,i had a nervous breakdown of sorts,when it came to my mother. I just woke up one day and realized that i just couldn't do it anymore. When she would call,my nerves would be on edge,i'd be in a pissy mood,and i'd feel like crying. We used to pick her up,have lunch (on us everytime) and take her shopping. The whole time all she did was bitch bitch bitch.
I realized that the thought of doing that even ONE more time was going to make me explode. Out of the blue,i broke down and cried my eyes out for a few hours,and felt like total shit for a week after.I ignored her calls,and then one day,i made the mistake of not looking at the caller ID,and it was her. I told her i was done. I couldn't go on with a relationship with her. There was nothing more to say that had not already been said a 1000 timer before,and those fights went nowhere.
She started calling 10 times a day,then gave up. Then the letter arrived.
She "deserves" to know why i'm not answering her,she didn't do anything....
I ignored it.
Another letter arrived today.
She doesn't "deserve to be treated like this.If it weren't for her i wouldn't even exist,that i guess it's too embarrassing to be seen with her,I always wanted to hurt her"
I just had a moment when i realized that i couldn't forgive someone who doesn't even care if she hurt me,someone who denies that anything ever happened. I tried SOOO hard to be the bigger person and to let the past go and move on,but my subconscious eats at me all the time. I still have nightmares. (For those that don't know,my mom married a convicted sex offender when I was 15,and he almost raped me after several years of attempted "grooming". She knew what he was doing,and ok'ed it)
All I want to do is live my life in peace.
Contacting her in any way is just going to start a downward spiral
Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 6:17 PM on Jul. 2, 2013
Answer by feralxat at 6:27 PM on Jul. 2, 2013
Answer by Ballad at 6:27 PM on Jul. 2, 2013
Answer by Ballad at 6:48 PM on Jul. 2, 2013
Answer by older at 7:47 PM on Jul. 2, 2013
Answer by musicmaker at 6:14 PM on Jul. 2, 2013
Answer by Rosehawk at 6:31 PM on Jul. 2, 2013
Answer by SWasson at 6:35 PM on Jul. 2, 2013
Answer by older at 7:00 PM on Jul. 2, 2013
Answer by Izsarejman at 7:37 PM on Jul. 2, 2013