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Do I have too high expectations of my babysitter? adult content

I hired a babysitter for my 2 kids while they were in school. My son is 8 he is a high functioning autistic child that doesn't need any additional help & my daughter is 6 & is also very independent. I pay my sitter $10 hr. everything was wonderful until her daughter took over. My sitter had obligations for the summer. My kids & I saw her very frequently for several weeks so the kids could get used to her. She has now watched them about 6-8 times. My house looks like a tornado came through it. I am very laid back but after working 8-10 hr day & I pay her $10/hr. Am I expecting too much? I just want it to be similar to the way I left it. I really don't think she is even doing a good job with my children either. This is where I really need the advice because last week not only was my house a disaster but my daughter pooped & peed in a container in her playroom. She also did the same thing in her bathroom sink. My babysitter was completely unaware of anything. When I sat & talked with my daughter about it because I wasn't upset I was concerned. She said she was afraid to ask the sitter to get her potty seat & to have her turn the lights. She's extremely afraid of the dark & very tiny for her age. So what I'm getting at is that for $10/hr I feel like I am just paying for a body & maybe a 911call (if she's paying attention). Am I overreacting because I just want to fire her & make other arrangement.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:09 AM on Jul. 3, 2013 in Special Needs

Answers (17)
  • The house being a mess - was cleaning as a part of her job discussed before she took over? Did her mother clean, and did her mother tell her cleaning was part of the job? Even at $10/hr, if no one told her that cleaning was part of the job, then expecting her to clean is wrong. It'd be nice if she did, but you can't expect her to be a mind reader.

    The care of the kids themselves - if you truly feel that she is not adequately or appropriately taking care of them, then you have every right (and responsibility) to fire her. If you think it's just a minor issue that can be resolved with a discussion, then talk to her and give her another chance. Otherwise, I'd simply tell her it isn't working out and you have to let her go.

    Your daughter being afraid to ask her to get the potty is a big red flag to me, though. Unless she's always shy or afraid of new people, that tells me the sitter said/did something to make her feel that way

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:35 AM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • Why is your daughter afraid to ask something of the sitter? Red flag. Maybe the sitter knew the "mess" was there and chose to ignore it,I am thinking it scented the house a bit. I would have a sit down with the sitter go over my expections and if she feels it is too much or you feel she is not accomadating let her go. I would also give her a warning after the talk,next time I fine.... you are no longer my sitter

    Answer by RobinChristine at 7:37 AM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • Thank you for your comment. I too thought the issues with my daughter was a definite red flag! We did discuss my expectations. I just expected more from a 22 yr old with experience.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:39 AM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • I would try to find someone else. Go with your gut.

    Answer by mompam at 7:48 AM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • I'd shit can her ass
    You arent expecting her to clean- scrub toilets and do dishes, youre expecting her to be responsible with the kids and maintain order.

    And if the kid is crapping in buckets and sinks the sitter isnt maintaining any form of order at all is she?
    What if the kid fell in the bathroom (or any other location)? If sitter doesnt know what the kids are doing then they are not safe.

    Answer by feralxat at 8:23 AM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • There's a big difference between being expected to clean house and keeping up with messes through the day. No, she's not being paid to be a maid, but part of minding the children is keeping the environment reasonably clean.
    Your daughter's behaviour is more than a red flag, if my kiddos told me that they were afraid of asking for something they needed- that would be the beginning of my search for a new sitter.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 8:27 AM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • Huge flag mom!

    Time for her to go!

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 8:47 AM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • Thank you everyone for your comments. That was my gut feeling to make other arrangements!! I am also so glad I figured this out sooner than later!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:59 AM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • GET a new sitter.

    When I watched kids -even at a young age, I aways kept the houses picked up for the parents. There is no excuse- unless the house is a pit to begin with, in which case, if it were ME -I'd try to clean it anyway!
    as for the issue with your daughter...NOT okay

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:11 AM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • If you just want the house to be similar to the way you left it, it doesn't sound like you expect "housecleaning" as part of the job but rather than you hope the babysitter will keep up with things through the day so things aren't totally "destroyed." This could mean engaging the kids & picking up messes, putting away toys, cleaning up after art projects. (Even if the dishes weren't all washed they wouldn't be left all over the table, etc.) Ongoing basic maintenance, to avoid chaos.
    It sounds like your regular babysitter tried to help you out by finding coverage for the summer months. It's not automatic that her daughter would have the same skills & personal standards that she does, though. How does the new babysitter seem, overall?
    If she seems warm & playful (i.e., likes kids!), it might be worth a conversation to clarify your issues & expectations. Also, reinforce with the kids that they can/should ask for help!

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:29 AM on Jul. 3, 2013

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