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How much time does your 8 year old spend outside running around with thier friends and how late?

I just want to know how other families are in regards to how much your kids play outside with their friends and how late as well. Here’s the story. I have an 8 year old step daughter and she has a neighborhood friend that comes over to our house pretty much every chance she gets. I mean the minute we pull up in the driveway Shes over at our car door. She wanders the neighborhood all day long, I’ve never seen her parents out playing with her or even watching her for that matter. My step daughter has been hanging out with her more and more and Shes finding herself in trouble more and more now because she makes such poor decisions when Shes with this girl. For example the girl talked my step daughter into leaving the neighborhood and going down and playing in the creek (which they just did a news study on and is very contaminated with stuff) and they were actually in the creek playing. I went to check on her after about 30 minutes and they were not at the friend’s house they told me they were at and were in fact in this creek. Needless to say I was very mad. When they ask me to do something or go somewhere and I say no not today or just plain no I hear this kid telling my step daughter to ask me again and say please please please. And shell just sit there for 10 minutes telling her to come ask me again and what not. So then another issue I’m having is that this kid is coming over to my house at 9-9:30 pm some nights asking if my step daughter can come out to play… ummm no Shes in bed by then. A few other things my step daughter tells me this girl is always lifting her shirt up and talking about sex and “adult body parts” exc. Can someone please tell me if I’m just too uptight or do I have a reason to feel completely annoyed to the point I want to move out of this neighborhood to get away from this girl! I could probably go on and on with a million reasons why I don’t want my step daughter playing with this girl!

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stepmom2B29

Asked by stepmom2B29 at 1:50 PM on Jul. 3, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • They would lay on blankets and marvel at the night sky. Plenty of parents were interested too.
    Whatever YOUR limits ,are the right limits for your child. I would talk to the other parents just to be sure they understand what is going on and your limits regarding play time. They are not subject to negotiation. At my house if I say no and I get the please, please, the answer is not only no but you are done for the day. In your example, I would say nagging gets you no where with me,. It is time for you to go home now and do not come back today. I would take my daughter in the house and tell her that she knows better and it is her responsibility to do what I have taught her. If she can not remember the rules in "Sally's" company, then she can not play with "Sally" until she is responsible enough to do the right thing even when "Sally" doesn't want to, and to come home/in, if there is not another good choice.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:45 PM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • I would go talk nicely to her Parents & tell them what the time & distance limits are & that there is no swaying from them. Then I would enroll her in some activities instead of letting her roam around all day. How about the volunteering somewhere like the Library a few days a week. Maybe she'll meet new friends. Busy hands are happy hands. A summer sport or craft club. Look in your local paper & see what's available in your area for kids to do. Local Pool, Nature Preserve etc.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:57 PM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • My kids are grown and DGS is 12 now. They would play for perhaps an hour without me checking but since they mostly played in our yard and the one next door it was easy to keep the kids within view with a glance out every 5 minutes. We also had an Aussie that was an amazing herder and she would mostly keep them in line. If she was on chain, I investigated because it usually meant that they wanted to do something they could not do and she wouldn't let them. So she "told" me instead lol.

    I believe kids should be out running and playing a good portion of the day in the summer and some of every day in the winter. In the summer our kids were out after dark playing flashlight tag or catching fireflies etc. There were/ are always parents or grandparents outside on the porches. Some nights it was later. In one neighborhood we had an astrology professor and he would hold "night sky" classes for the kids.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:38 PM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • Oh, BTW, my Son is 6 and he is never out of my site unless he is at his friends house who I am very good friends with the Mom & I know she is watching them. You cannot be too careful these days. It is not like when we grew up. If some creep constantly sees these two young girls alone in secluded places then God only knows what could happen. GL!
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:00 PM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • I have the same issues with my son but he is 5. He obviously isn't allowed to roam at all. He can play out behind our apartment in the court yard. The neighbor boy sounds just like you neighbor girl(minus the body parts) and the neighbor girls are out at 10 pm still playing and I never see their parents.

    With the boy(who is the main one who comes over at all times of day and evening and presses my son to whine and beg for things). I have been telling him that he cannot come over at certain times, that he can't fight or disrespect toys or they get put away. I've also been getting after my son for whining and begging or doing other things he knows he is not allowed to do. Yes the kids influence him but he has to learn that he alone is responsible for his own actions.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 2:04 PM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • Time to get to know the parents.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:31 PM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • You're nicer than I would be. If my kid went beyond his limits to play in a creek without permission with a friend, he wouldn't be allowed to play with said friend for a week or two. My kids know that if they can't stay out of trouble (if they can't stand up and say "no, I can't do that") with a friend, then that friend will not be allowed around for a while. And if any friend was telling them to whine or bug me to get what they want, that friend would be sent home and I'd be letting the parents know that it is NOT appreciated that their kid is pressuring my kid to do things my kid knows he shouldn't be doing.

    The thing with lifting her shirt, and talking about sex and body parts - I'd tell the parents about that, too. I would tell them exactly what my child said their child was doing. And if it didn't stop, or I thought the parents were doing something to cause it, I'd call CPS.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 2:54 PM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • The talk about sex would worry me, and the coaxing your daughter to make bad decisions, more than the roaming. Depending on your neighborhood, of course. I would suggest trying to steer your daughter into other activities so she doesn't have time to hang out with this girl too much. As for the whining and "please, please, please" thing, if you don't give an inch, maybe the girl will get the idea eventually that begging is a futile tactic.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:29 PM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • None. My kids don't go to other kids' houses at all, and during the summer, the streets here are empty. It's too hot to go play with other kids.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 2:07 PM on Jul. 3, 2013

  • Bikes to the park, behind my home, I don't go inside, to the neighbors house (who I know) let him go to the fast mart, about a block away with a few older kids on Saturday, but he takes my phone.
    He really doesn't run about anywhere, that I am not with im.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 4:51 PM on Jul. 3, 2013

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