Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Is not liking being a stay at home mom really that bad?

I tried it for 3 years and now I have a job because I was depressed and unhappy. I feel great getting to talk to adults or just generally being around people.

All I keep hearing is that I should miss my kids and should be unhappy that my youngest is in daycare.

Why? Why should I be unhappy?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:06 AM on Jul. 4, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • No. Being a stay at home Mom is HARD. Being a 1 income family is HARD. Not ever having adult interactions SUCKS.

    Daycare is awesome, those people get paid to watch your kid. It's structured and a safe learning environment. My kids would LOVE daycare. Someday I want a paying job too.

    Answer by staciandababy at 2:08 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • The absolute worst thing you can do to your kids is stay home with them if you don't want to. My mom did that, and she had the world believing she was happy; maybe even she believed it. But she was miserable, and it showed in her parenting. You'll be a better parent if you are fulfilled, by whatever it is that fulfills you. If you are happy with a job and adult interaction, you can go home to your kids ready to enjoy them and love them in a wayyou can't if you are stuck in the house with them and not jazzed by that. Seriously, as the grown up kid of a mom who stayed home because that was what society expected her to do, I'm telling you, don't do it if a different situation will suit you better. Good luck.

    Answer by Ballad at 5:40 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • if being a SAHParent was easy and sooooo enjoyable then why dont more couples get into arguments over who GETS to do it.

    i dont know one person who says- yea! i got to change 2 shitty diapers, clean up puke off the rug, fish a legos out of the toilet, cook and clean.
    they love other aspects of staying at home, but really I dont think anyone loves the grunt work. and these people berating you about "missing" the kids have obviously forgotten about what it is really like. you dont get to play cars and barbie all day.

    its fucking hard

    must. stop. now. before this turns into a rant :)

    Answer by feralxat at 8:39 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • Nope. Being a SAHM isn't for everyone. People are all different and have different desires, likes and dislikes. They have different things that the expect from themselves and different things that make us feel fulfilled. I personally enjoyed my year old stint of being a SAHM but I live in an area with a lot of mom's groups and so I joined one of them giving me a day each month to hang out with other mom's for 2 hours while DD hung out in the nursery with her new friends. I liked having my house cleaner than it had ever been before. I loved making my kids lunches the night before and I enjoyed not being too tired in the evening to enjoy their company. unfortunately I had no choice, financially, but to return to work. I don't 'miss' my kids per say but I do miss the lifestyle. Funny thing is, before I lost my job back then, I said I would NEV ER be a SAHM and that I would HATE it. :0)

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:46 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • I agree with But_Mommie. It's not for eveyone that is for sure. All moms are different.

    Answer by RelaxedMom2-3 at 10:23 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • Not a bad thing at all!! I would go insane if I didn't get out of the house! I have summers off and I am super happy when school starts back up so I can get my brain working again!!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:46 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • I guess not... If you think about it. I have adult children. When they were growing up, most all mothers worked. I consider my children very good mothers and they work as well.

    Answer by m-avi at 1:07 PM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • You're fine. A lot of women don't like being a SAHM. I didn't. If that makes me "abnormal" I EMBRACE the label; "normal" is overrated and it's the "abnormals" who make this world's greatest stride. Edison, Einstein. Tesla, Curie, Jobs... where would we be without these people who buck the status quo?

    The only opinion that counts is that of the Woman In Your Mirror. Ignore all others.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:47 PM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • You shouldn't. Some ppl just can't handle it...I've been a sham for 5 years and I hate it most of the time. You're not the first person to feel this way and you won't be the last and your kids will probably be better off than if you continued staying home and depressed.

    In the 50s "they" tried to brainwash a whole generation of women that they were made by God to be stay at home caused many of them to start taking tranquilizers daily just to get thru the day. I don't see how that's better.

    Answer by okmanders at 6:04 PM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • After 13 years, I'm fucking tired of it, LOL. I want a paying job, but I also don't want to put my baby in day care....Plus working outside the home and breastfeeding really wouldn't work for me.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 1:35 PM on Jul. 5, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.