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3 Bumps

So miserable. Need advice

I'm a regular going anon because this is painful to talk about.

I work in the most toxic environment I've ever worked in during my life. My boss bullies me constantly. Some examples are:

1. Telling me to clock out after 40 hours but to continue working because "that's how we do it in this department."  My work day starts at 6:30am, I leave at 3:30pm and then I work from home, for free, from 4:30pm until 10:00pm. Every day
2. Making me sign "promissory" notes with the date and time (to the minute) that I will have projects completed
3. Telling me, almost daily, that he "doesn't even want to look at" me because I piss him off so much
4. Discussing me with his secretary who, in turn, tells others within the facility about what he has told her

This isn't a small company I work for. It's huge. I've gone to HR to no avail. They are understandably concerned about dealing with him; he brings a huge amount of money into the company. Bottom line is that he's not going anywhere and nothing is going to change as long as he is there. So, on Monday I put in my notice that I was leaving August 1.

The sort of final straw came last night when a co-worker stated that he called her into his office yesterday and spent two hours deriding me. He told HER to talk to me.

I guess the bottom line is that my anxiety level is so high that I am really worried about my health. I rarely sleep more than 3 hours a night, I can't eat, my chest feels like there is a weight on it. I'm not a young woman anymore.

I have an interview with another company on Monday. I'm seriously considering going into my current job on Sunday, leaving my keys, pager, ID and laptop and letting them know I'm done. On the one hand, I know this is a horrible idea. On the other, I don't think I can spend another minute there.

Please help me muddle through this.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 AM on Jul. 4, 2013 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • This is part of the problem we women have in the workforce in regards to wage equality. Do not let him or this company get away with a hostile illegal work environment. Go back to HR....go above them. Go sit your butt in their office every day until this is resolved.

    Hugs and GL.

    Answer by PandaGwen at 9:12 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • Wendy is right. However....if you are being forced to clock out and still work then you need to report this fuck tard to the Labor Board.

    Keep in mind, you quit and he's going to do this same crap to another person unless serious formal complaints are filed.

    Answer by PandaGwen at 8:07 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • I wouldn't quit until you have a new job. But it sounds like this guy wouldn't give you a good reference anyway, so once you find something, I'd jump on it and leave this company behind.

    Also, if I were you, I'd get seriously pissed off. When I left, I'd go to him and I'd lay out for him exactly what kind of an asshole I think he is for the way he treated me, and what kind of coward he is that he doesn't even have the balls to tell me himself what he thinks of me. He's not going to give you a good reference anyway, so screw it.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:43 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • labor board is state
    you can goggle it- or tell us what state youre in and i will do it for you
    this ass needs the wrath of god to reign down on him
    its illegal to force someone to work for no pay and hes created a hostile work environment

    what sort of documentation do you have?

    Answer by feralxat at 8:32 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • it's not chargeable.
    then it isnt mandatory and not a fireable offense try this link


    Answer by feralxat at 9:09 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • He HAS done it to several other employees who have since left. It's a culture of abuse (and I don't use that term lightly) that isn't going to change, I don't think.

    Is the labor board a state agency? Or federal?

    I know you both are right about not quitting until I have another job. It's just that I'm afraid I'm going to have a heart attack. Or stroke. My anxiety is so high that I can't breathe

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:13 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • I went to HR twice, so I have documentation there. I have copies of the promissory notes. I can show, electronically, that I was logged in to work remotely in the evenings. There's no pay to match that but I was told that if I work from home it's not chargeable.

    HR's approach was to turn it back on me. "What could you have done differently to avoid this situation?" which is really really difficult to deal with.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:45 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • Sounds almost exactly like a guy I used to work for. Only I had to start each day with a 15 min meeting with him, basically listening to him scream at me and cuss me out for matters out of my control. I worked 7 hrs a week and the rest of the week was spent job shadowing, door to door soliciting and cold calling (I only got paid for 7 hrs of that week). Any sales that I made, him or another co-worker had to close so I got no commission either. I have stress and anxiety issues to begin with, I certainly didn't need that adding to it. I quit that job before I had another one. The following month was the hardest month I ever had and I wished I would have stayed working until I had another job.
    Don't focus on what's happening. Focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. Put all your effort into getting that other job. Once you have that job, then quit this one.
    Good Luck! HUGS!!!

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 11:10 AM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • I'd be talking to an attorney before you do anything further. I think you have the possibility of a large lawsuit....

    Answer by m-avi at 12:22 PM on Jul. 4, 2013

  • Thank you all for your help.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:33 PM on Jul. 4, 2013