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How do I handle my step son being dissrespectul to his father?

My step son has no boundries when it comes to our marriage. He is 25 years old and his father does not want to create waves so he lets his son treat both my husband and I very poorly.

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ozerba

Asked by ozerba at 2:00 PM on Jul. 5, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Did you meet his son before getting married?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:13 PM on Jul. 5, 2013

  • Nothing you can do. This is your husband's to handle. If he refuses, your hands are tied.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:23 PM on Jul. 5, 2013

  • You can't do anything. Your husband has to stand up to him and make it stop, otherwise there's nothing to be done.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 2:51 PM on Jul. 5, 2013

  • Unfortunately, your stepson is not a child. You can't send him to his room or take away his computer. Your husband needs to tell him, man to man, to knock it off. If he won't, then I'd suggest avoiding contact with the stepson whenever you can and telling your husband why. You don't deserve to be disrespected, and you won't set yourself up for it. Your husband doesn't deserve it, either, but it's up to him to decide what he will or won't do about it for himself.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:10 PM on Jul. 5, 2013

  • OZERBA:
    My step son has no boundries when it comes to our marriage. He is 25 years old and his father does not want to create waves so he lets his son treat both my husband and I very poorly.

    ALTERED:
    It sounds toxic. Why are you putting up with it -- for a grown 25-year-old? Your husband is sacrificing you and the marriage so he can have a "relationship" with his son. The husband clearly won't do anything if he figures you will remain quiet.

    Inform your husband that either his son respects you and your sanctuary (your home) or else the son is not welcome. If your husband refuses, then raise the stakes and inform him that either his grown, 25-year-old son shapes up, or else YOU will leave.

    If you think you will save your marriage by allowing yourself to be disrespected, ask yourself: "Will things improve if I continue putting up with this and do or say nothing--and be firm about it?"


    Respond honestly to yoursel
    Altered

    Answer by Altered at 7:40 PM on Jul. 5, 2013

  • The harm has been doing by your hubby's attitude toward his son, now it will be harder to repair.....talk to his father and explain the harm this is all doing...and make some changes....

    older

    Answer by older at 11:53 AM on Jul. 6, 2013

  • yes older
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 11:58 PM on Jul. 13, 2013

  • on phoneYou will need his Dad's support or else make changes.

    morebee7

    Answer by morebee7 at 1:49 AM on Jul. 20, 2013

  • I would tell your husband that he cannot meet with his son at your home or in your presence until son learns to be kinder. He can take out his son for a 'date.' Or meet him for fishing or some other activity.

    My SS is 19. I do not see him for the same reason. My DH sees him about twice month and only if he acts decently. He is not allowed to come to our home anymore. It will take strength on both of your parts to do this. But you are not doing his son any favors by letting him behave in this manner.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 4:28 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

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