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2 Bumps

3 weeks in jail. Should I write?

The guy I'm seeing had to take care of something that he thought was finished - legalwise. He ended up having to do 21 days. He'll be out on the 25th. But 3 weeks is a good chunk of time since we talk daily now. Should I send at least one letter?

- He has not had any legal trouble for 2 yrs. This was leftover from a charge that he thought he had been over & done with so please don't judge the situation.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Jul. 6, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • I guess you could send a letter but won't he also be able to call at least a few times?
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 3:43 PM on Jul. 6, 2013

  • He should be going to a County Jail in Your County right? So why can't you go & see him there?
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:43 PM on Jul. 6, 2013

  • Decide how you fee about whatever he has convicted of , all of it from the past. See if you really want to continue this relationship. Give yourself at least a few days. If the answer is that the crimes were not anything you can not live with (if he should repeat the offense) then yes I would write several times. I have never been in jail but I would think that a letter from those he loves would help him to get through the days of his sentence.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:45 PM on Jul. 6, 2013

  • Yes, he'll be local. About 30-45 minutes away. He's still in the inmate reception center so I don't know where they'll perm house him yet. I don't think he can call because I have no land-line, only a cell.
    I'm glad you all think I should write. I just wasn't sure if 3 weeks was long enough to write and not look desperate. lol
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:48 PM on Jul. 6, 2013

  • I would write. I'm sure it will give him something to look forward to and to help pass the time. Just keep in mind that the letter might be read by other people as well.
    Why does having a cell phone and no land-line matter? I don't know many people that have a land line anymore.
    tempsingl3mom

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 3:55 PM on Jul. 6, 2013

  • hmm, i haven't dealt with a guy in jail for years... and back then we had to have a landline to accept collect calls.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:02 PM on Jul. 6, 2013

  • Sorry, I am going to tell you what I would do. As soon as I found out he was/has been in legal trouble/trouble with the law. I would dump him. You do not need that kind of drama/bill shit around your kids.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:09 PM on Jul. 6, 2013

  • I would prioritize what is best for you. You're focusing on how he feels but not what this might mean for you. We have instincts to protect us, so I hope you won't be blind to what kind of person is best for you. He's a grown man and can take care of himself. I've heard that same story about something they thought was done and over with but wasn't. It's a cover-up story. Why are you hesitating on writing him? Most people would just do what they feel is best, not ask on a public forum. I think that is really a sign of your instinct warning you. Being open-minded is one thing, but being WISE is more important.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 4:26 PM on Jul. 6, 2013

  • I would write. Three weeks in jail is bad enough, much less three weeks with no contact from those you love. If the trouble really is left over from the past and your boyfriend has cleaned up his act, then support him all the way.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 4:33 PM on Jul. 6, 2013

  • Thank you, Ballad. I want to support him. He's an amazing person and deserves it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:39 PM on Jul. 6, 2013

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