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What is it with dads?

We went out tonight to an indoor amusement park at a mall. We went for the mini golf, but when we got there, the temptations of the bounce house and the carousel were too great, so we did those. Then my stepson wanted to try the hurricane simulator, and we bought caramel corn. We went window shopping at the Lego Outlet and Build-a-Bear. Then we decided we'd spent enough, even if my daughter was nagging to ride the train and my stepson wanted to try the roller coaster simulator. I just took the continuing demands in stride and kept saying no till we got back to the car, and the whole thing was fun overall. But my boyfriend always gets so impatient with the clamor of demands, and he ended up in a bad mood by the time we got home, ready to take a running leap at the wall headfirst. Why can't he understand that kids will be kids and just shake it off? Is there anything I can do to make it easier for him?

 
Ballad

Asked by Ballad at 11:36 PM on Jul. 6, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I can't say much. That irritates me too. I feel like what I *do* do goes unappropriated. I *know* they are just being kids and I try not to let my attitude towards the family be affected. I guess some people just handle it better than others. I would just calmly remind him that though you understand how it can be frustrating he can't take his feelings out on you or the rest of the family.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 12:07 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • Overstimulation for everyone it sounds like.

    I probably would have left the mall in the same mood as your boyfriend. I get highly tense and highly moody in places like malls with the mass crowds, smells, sounds.

    Maybe just limit it to an hour or so? And when anyone shows signs of a meltdown, it's time to leave. Even adults have those.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 1:18 AM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • idk what to tell you, but my dh and I tell our kids "that's enough" when they keep on and on about stuff, if they keep on after we tell them to stop, we will leave the place we're at. If just one kid is acting out (usually ds), one of us will take him away from all the excitement until he can calm down.
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 12:41 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • I think men in general have a lower patience then women especially mothers. They just can't take whining as much without getting a fool mood. I think discussing with him on how to increase his patience as well as coming up with a strategy that you both agree to combat the whining next time(like what Dardenella was saying) is a good idea as well.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 1:03 AM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • Well for one kids will be kids sounds like bad parenting to me. I hope you don't use that as an excuse when your kids misbehave. For another in this situation your kids sound whiny, however I don't know their ages so its hard to say if that is typical behavior for that age group.

    Also why would you date someone that can't handle kids? If this is how he always acts do you really want him to be the step-father of your children?
    JanetMonroe1991

    Answer by JanetMonroe1991 at 11:44 PM on Jul. 6, 2013

  • Maybe he doesn't remember what it was like to be a kid. On the other hand, if the kids were being overly whiny, I can see why he got annoyed. He may just need to breathe for a few. Lol. If this is a typical thing of him, I'd have a talk with him about the importance of patience and how unhelpful it is to let children affect your mood all the time (kids sense if they can manipulate emotions or moods and take advantage. Lol)
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 11:51 PM on Jul. 6, 2013

  • I would warn my kids when I had hit my limit. We had season passes to a certain amusement park (for instance) After I told them to stop I would tell them that I would deduct a week from the next time we were going every time they asked for something, or to do something Since we went just about every weekend it was pretty easy for them to see I meant it. On trips I would give them a quarter and everytime they asked, are we almost there? or fought with each other they had to give me a quarter.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:34 AM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • Men are problem solvers. The kids are having problems he cant solve. Automatic piss off to men.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:05 AM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • You say it yourself - "till it can drive you crazy."

    My kids are worse than a dog with a bone once they get going on something. And yes, I admit that there can come a point where I lose patience and get fed up. Kids will be kids, sure, but that doesn't mean that we just ignore and let them keep doing it - how else will those kids be eventual adults if we don't teach them that what they're doing can be annoying and isn't acceptable behavior?

    Now, if his bad mood was taken out on you and/or the kids, or made the rest of the evening uncomfortable for everyone else, then he should be told that he needs to learn to let it go and not to take his mood out on others. But getting impatient and frustrated with whining and badgering after an evening of lots of fun seems like something perfectly normal.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:29 AM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • Who's in charge of the finances? If it's him, or if he's at least aware of them, maybe he was freaking out about money? I can do that sometimes, esp. in between pay periods. That's when the "I wants" tend to get to me. Usually if we are out on a planned activity like that, I let them know their limit ahead of time & will remind them if they "forget". If it's not a money thing, then he needs to take a chill pill & look at life thru his kids' eyes more often. Just cut lose & enjoy the time with them & watching the joy on their faces. :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:30 AM on Jul. 7, 2013

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