Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

I don't trust or feel comfortable my MIL watching my son.

I can tell she dislikes my son and I. There's no pics of him at her house but two. My stepson has walls covered of himself. It's just the way she looks at my son, and i feel like she's so fake around me. Also all the rude comments she make when DH is not around. Like once we went out to eat with the inlaws and my husband went out to the car with my son to "change his diaper" but really it was an excuse to go and smoke a cigarette. So my stepson was like where is daddy and Jacob. And she was like Jacob is probably playing in traffic. I once had a doctors appointment and my father in law was watching my son. i got there ten mintutes after she got home. and my father in law was showering so she watched him for a few minutes. she was like thank god when i arrived because she was tired. but she can have my stepson there like everyday, afterschool, on weekends, ect..Then after my first son she told me I should get a Hysterectomy, I was 23. I never tell her anything mean or make any comments. I just ignore her. So she wanted to take both kids to her house to swim, go to the movies, and stay the night. I just told my husband to tell her no, because I had plans already. They were upset.. But I just wouldn't feel right leaving him there when she's there. My father in law is nice to me and my son. I wanted to tell him the truth but I don't want to cause drama.
Would you trust her???????

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Jul. 7, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • What rude comments has she made to make you think she does not like your child?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:07 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • what does your husband say about his mother treating your son like this
    and it your son also your husbands?
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 12:13 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • Well she hasn't told me anything directly, but it's something I feel and see. For example, holidays my stepson gets so many things and my my son gets a few and cheap. I don't care if she wants to give my stepson more but not in front of me or my child. She never hugs him or shows him attention or affection. And my stepson she smothers him. Stuff like its just so many things..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • My husband is upset but won't confront his mom.. Yes he's my husbands son. My husband had his first son when he was a senior in high school.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:17 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • You may be overthinking this. How old are the two boys? Was your stepson her only grandson until your son was born? Maybe she just got used to him being there and hasn't got the hang (for lack of a better word) of yours yet? Maybe she's giving your son cheaper presents and fewer of them because she thinks that at his age (given that toddlers tend to play with only a few favourite toys and those toys tend to have a short life expectancy) that it's pointless investing a fortune?

    Have you ever actually spoken to her about how you feel? You may be making a mountain out of a molehill without realizing it and at the same time ensuring that you can never have a decent relationship with her ...
    goldpandora

    Answer by goldpandora at 12:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • Trust your gut and keep your mouth shut except to your husband. My 2nd MIL had a problem with the idea of my husband marrying a widow with a kid, but she came around. Eventually my daughter became one of her favorites. My husband handled the whole thing beautifully. It takes some time. Sounds like you took away 2 of her boys and she needs to grow up and get over it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • I don't like favorites, you do for one of my kids I expect the same for the other. I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut. If you feel it's not a healthy place for your ds trust your instincts and do what you feel is best for him. I would ask my dh to say something and let him know if he doesn't I will. Maybe she doesn't realize her favoritism is so obvious and a quick chat will fix that.
    skinnyslokita

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 1:30 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • I have made comments to my kids when they were being nosey. My favorite it, He is milking a duck.

    Tat can backfire if they want to go see but mine found out early it was none of their business and usually very boring and if they pushed thy could do boring too.
    You may be being overly sensitive but you are in a marriage. You need to tell your hubby your concerns and just ask him to watch next time and see if you are being too sensitive. She is naturally more attached to the child she has been with more often.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:48 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • I don't trust my mother in law with my kids, either. I would trust your guy. However, does your she take good care of the kids? Say rude things in front of them? Make them feel unwanted? Or is this just a "feeling" that you get over something that could possibly be misunderstanding?

    Make sure your decision is what is best for the kids and you can't go wrong as long as you aren't using your kids as a way to somehow "get back at" her. That wouldn't be right. (I'm not assuming either way, just trying to give the best advice without knowing your family.) Good luck!
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 2:06 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • There are some people with whom you should never leave your children. If those people want to watch your children, you sometimes have to be honest and tell the truth. They won't like it, but it's better than playing mind games. I would probably tell her the truth with as much kindness as is possible.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:07 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN