Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Have you ever have someone tell you to make sure you never have to rely on a man 100%?

More on my cousin
Everyone is acting like i'm crazy that I think she should have taken some time between relationships to actually live on her own since she NEVER has. That jumping into a relationship and quitting your job,and moving 3 hours away from all your friends and family in hopes that everything will work out somehow,even though the odds are HUGE that they won't. Damn,the guy has so much baggage that it's unimaginable!
Apparently i'm nuts because I don't believe in "true" love and fairy tales
Guess who gets to pick up the pieces if it doesn't work out....

 
butterflyblue19

Asked by butterflyblue19 at 11:54 PM on Jul. 7, 2013 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Nope... there is no such thing as a night in shining armor!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:58 PM on Jul. 7, 2013

  • My grandma, who got divorced in the late sixties when it wasn't looked on favorably at all, told me that when I got married. She was right, too. I'll tell my daughter the same thing someday. Be with a man because you love him and you two are good for each other, but make sure you can pay your own way and that you aren't afraid to live by yourself.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:00 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • My mother considered it a REQUIREMENT to be able to live without a man. I'm pretty sure she would have boycotted my wedding if I hadn't been a self-sufficient woman with a career before getting married.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:28 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Don't pick up the pieces anymore. How can she learn if you keep doing that? Apparently, she needs to fall hard on her butt to learn that a man isn't everything. You can't prevent people from being stupid. She already knows your concerns, and I wouldn't bring them up again because it's just going to make her defend her decisions even more.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 4:17 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Yes you should never rely on someone 100 percent. If you don't want to hurt yourself in future, then don't trust anyone blindly. I used to trust my spouse very much but he left me . There should be trust definitely but not too much.
    veronicawilliam

    Answer by veronicawilliam at 4:39 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Yes but for different reasons. My dad passed away when I was 7 and my mom had nothing but a highschool education. They had only joint bank accounts so after he died there was a period of time where she couldn't access any money because it was tied up in probate. My mom always wanted(wants) me to have an education to fall back on and my own bank account.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:43 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Not put exactly in those words, but, yes, the implication was there. Basically I was learned the only two I could rely on was myself and God. A husband/ BF/ father or whoever is only human and will either make mistakes, leave you, or die. I never took that to mean I shouldn't marry or fall in love because you are only shorting yourself potential happiness.
    HHx5

    Answer by HHx5 at 12:26 PM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • You should never rely on someone 100%, no matter what. I have one daughter and I will make sure she can take care of herself and not have to depend on any man.
    RelaxedMom2-3

    Answer by RelaxedMom2-3 at 2:18 PM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • My parents made sure to teach me when I was growing up that I should be able to support myself (and potential children) without the help of a man. As my mother always said, it wasn't even necessarily about whether he might leave, but that he could die or become disabled or who knows?

    I lived on my own, paid my own bills, had my own career and life for 2-3 years before I met my ex and got married. I was taking care of myself just find and the knowledge that I had done that made it easier for me to decide to leave him when I realized the marriage just was not going to work. I didn't worry about whether or not I could take care of myself and my kids - I already knew I could.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:31 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • I tend to agree that life isn't a fairy tale or true love. IT's all bull shit. I think that it's important for both sexes male and female to not rely on the other 100% because yes, when the relationship breaks who's going to be there for you. ONly yourself. You can't rely on anyone but yourself!
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 5:16 PM on Jul. 8, 2013