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2 Bumps

Have you ever meant to say something nice and ended up hurting somebody's feelings instead?

My boyfriend and I came home from Wal-Mart to find a mammoth mess on the carpet because my dog had another accident. She's getting old and having bowel issues. So we were sitting together on the floor with scrub brushes and Resolve. Trying to make the situation not seem so bad, I told my boyfriend that if he hadn't been there, I would have had to grope around with plastic bags on my hands, gagging, to investigate the scope of the mess and then clean it up as best I could without seeing it. I said I'd done it many times and was glad I didn't have to do it now. I was trying to let him know that I appreciated his help, but also that I could have managed without him, so that he didn't feel that I saw him as a convenience. But he took it that I was telling him I didn't really need him and that there was nothing he did for me that I couldn't do by myself if I had to. Which I suppose is true, I could, with a whole lot more effort. But that wasn't where my thoughts were going at all.

So have you ever tried to say something positive and ended up sticking your foot down your throat?


Asked by Ballad at 12:50 AM on Jul. 8, 2013 in Relationships

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
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Answers (10)
  • It sounds more like he is having male PMS and being sensitive. Maybe he feels that you're too independent and that it makes him feel useless. But I don't think what you said was offensive. He might have felt this way even before this happened. As for the dog issue, have you tried puppy pads or doggie diapers or putting him a carpetless room temporarily (if you have one)?

    Here is a diaper made for senior dogs with medical issues:


    Answer by hellokittykat at 4:07 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • " But he took it that I was telling him I didn't really need him and that there was nothing he did for me that I couldn't do by myself if I had to."

    And he SHOULD take that as a very good sign, that you are with him because you LOVE him and not because you need a caretaker. It means he has a GROWNUP on his hands.

    I don't see that you put your foot in your mouth at all.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:25 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • It happens to me all the gad damn time! I try to say something nice... I guess I am just a jackass at heart.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:52 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Yes

    Answer by staciandababy at 12:58 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Not that I can think of. Generally if I hurt your feelings it is because I meant to at least IRL. The internet is different, I have had misunderstandings with people because you can't get tone across online.

    Answer by kmath at 1:02 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Happens to me at least once a day.
    Hubby likes to "process" things, so sometimes he'll get mad at me the next day for something I said, and I have NO clue WTF he is talking about?!?

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:18 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Yes. And also it apparently happens when I am trying to be helpful.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • yup, it happens.

    nothing wrong with what you said at all.

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:26 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Are you kidding me? I'm a MASTER at sticking my foot in my mouth.

    Just go back and try to explain that you didn't mean you were telling him you didn't need him, you were trying to express gratitude that he was willing to help. That yes, you CAN do it on your own, but it would take longer, might not be as clean, and YOU'D be messier because of having to explore the area to find its boundaries.

    Guys can be really dumb sometimes.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 10:51 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • yes, it happens all the time. Lovely words of communication. You have to communicate often about communicating. it's crazy. I get a kick out of how the other person doesn't know how to interpet what your saying so most often you have to say why your communicating about something.

    Answer by Sillylins at 11:15 AM on Jul. 8, 2013