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3 Bumps

I'm such a crappy mom. :(

Why did God have to bless me of all people who actually deserve a kid, with such a beautiful, healthy smart baby boy.

I have a 2 year old, and he is too good to have such a crappy mom like me. I never or will ever physically abuse him. But I feel like I don't play with enough, he's always with his dad. And just other mental stuff.

I hate this. He doesn't deserve it. I don't deserve him, and it's seriously tearing me apart. Don't mention adoption because I love to death, more than anything I've ever loved or will ever love, and so does his dad and his family. M

I just feel I'm not mentally stable to be a mom.ugh. I hate myself and life!!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:01 AM on Jul. 8, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • You are not alone in feeling like that. I often feel like you and my dd is 4!! I l live in a subdivision that really doesn't have kids her age. She had 3 friends, one lived 3 homes down, and they other 2 lived right across the road. They all moved. I take her to the park, but by the time mid afternoon arrives, you get the older kids coming in, being mean to the little ones, and dealing drugs. Then she doesn't play with the same kids. I do not know what to do. But OP, you are not mentally unbalanced! lol I live in a city that for 3 yrs running has been the most dangerous city in the nation! We beat Detroit!! And thats sooo not a good thing! The racial tension here is real high. Mostly due to the cluster going on in the Zimmerman trial. Why that is, I have no fucking idea! But its there.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 2:19 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Sometimes when we have had bad things happen to us, we don't feel we'll ever deserve anything good. I remember when I had my first miscarriage, I thought of course, it was bound to happen because someone bad like me couldn't ever create anything as beautiful and wonderful as a baby. After I had my baby girl, I was terrified that something awful would happen to her just by virtue of the fact that I was her mom. But I've moved past that negativity and fear to gratitude, and you can too. Have you tried counseling?

    Answer by Ballad at 2:20 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Counseling, please. Call first thing in the morning.

    And let me give you something to consider. I grew up in an era when mothers NEVER played with their children. The kids were left to play on their own. Mom would take us for walks, or show us how to do things like draw or swim, but playing was strictly kids business. And especially when it came to my brother; he was with Dad most of the time too.

    But know who my brother adored most all his life? Our mother. Because she did something far more important than playing with him. She listened to him. And that's what they remember.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:29 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • How do you know you don't deserve him? Maybe God knows that you will work hard to give him the best. Maybe your child IS your motivation. There are some people who accept things as they are and let life happen to them. There are others who do something about it and change their life story. Each day, think about what you can do differently, what you can knock off your list that makes life better for you both. That might mean getting rid of toxic people in your life, going back to school, making arrangements with family members for childcare so that you can go back to school or work a job. Imagine your child grown up saying what you wrote to you. What advice would you give him? How will you be a good role model to him? I recommend reading self-help books. Check them out from the library or buy them used.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 3:43 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • The most important thing for your son is that he has the kind of love you describe you have for him. He feels that. No matter what you think you're doing so badly. I don't know who you are comparing yourself to but that love you have in your heart makes you one of the best. Not playing with him or your own mental things, he doesn't notice. Bring your brain back, you are clearly a really great person that knows right from wrong and your heart is big and in the right place. Nobody feels "mentally stable" to be a mom, trust me, no matter how much they pretend. It's that love you feel that makes it all go the way it's meant to be. You deserve him and he deserves and needs you more than you could imagine. I hope you feel better and realize that you don't deserve letting yourself get the best of you. Everyone has that strength within them. Find it and believe in it. Hoping the best for all of you. XO

    Answer by amy42203 at 6:15 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Get help.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:15 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • For starters NEVER down your self. Being a good mum is believing you are! Put post it notes were you can see it saying im a good mom. Me and my bf read something we wrote together every morning and night and we repeat through out im a good mother and nothing is more important then my child. Get a strong support system through church or join groups for moms. Get close with your mom and call her evereyday. When you get overwhelmed just look at that precious face and think i need tp be strong for him. STAY POSITIVE. Dont be afraid to get counseling and medication. My mother has custody of my older son beacuse i was overwhelmed. I never neglected or abused my child but cps thought i was to overwhelmed and was concerned. I was young and dumb enough to let them make me think i was unfit. Please dont let that happen to you.
    Camron D.

    Answer by Camron D. at 11:54 PM on Jul. 11, 2013

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