Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My kids dad doesn't want to pay any child support, but does want to see them. I really need the money as I have new born twins and have no one at all to watch them for me to work, should I tell him he can't see them until he pays me? I feel like that might work, but I also feel guilty for keeping him away from them over money.

Answer Question
 
Ej1010

Asked by Ej1010 at 2:38 AM on Jul. 8, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • File for child support immediately. Forget playing games - do it legally.
    goldpandora

    Answer by goldpandora at 3:01 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Report him to Child Support Enforcement. They'll send his butt to jail for failure to pay. He needs to learn a lesson. You could also ask about having his wages garnished (if he works). Don't feel guilty! The earlier you nip this problem in the bud, the easier your life will be going forward. Kids don't remember much before 2 years of age anyway (do you even remember when you were that young?). They won't remember him being gone. Do what you need to keep them and you fed, clothed and housed.


    Office of Child Support Enforcement website:


    http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/css

    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 3:14 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • The courts do not see a connection between child support payments (or a lack thereof) and visitation. If you tell him he can't see them unless he pays child support, he could go to court and demand visitation rights and tell the judge you've said he can't see them unless he pays child support - which will make you look bad. You don't want to ever look bad in court - let him look like the bad guy.

    File in court for child support. Get a court order in place, which is then enforceable through the courts. When he doesn't pay, you file a motion for contempt, and let the judge handle "punishing" him for not paying. Don't do it yourself, because that can backfire.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:11 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Visitation and CS two separate things, especially in courts eyes
    Do not refuse visits that court has ordered
    But do file with CS agency
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:30 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • He wants to see his kids, then he needs to help support them financially. Do it legally and let the court decide on visitation.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:33 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • I am with the PP's, do it legally through the courts.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 9:34 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Work out something so the children will not be hurt.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:09 AM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • Child Support is not optional. File for it legally.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:34 PM on Jul. 8, 2013

  • I had that problem with my oldest son.. but the only diff was his father only wanted to be there when he wanted to be which wasn't that much at the beging but things have turned fro the better. What i did was i went through DHR they took him to court for it, and now every time he gets a new job it is red flaged so it always takes it out
    youngmother606

    Answer by youngmother606 at 11:33 PM on Jul. 23, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN