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4 Bumps

How would you take it?

Ok. So yes. I have posted about this guy before. We've known eachother for years. I've been off and on with him. Dating someone else etc. He and I were suppose to get together to hang out. but we always were eluding to sex. The most recent one I thought for sure I was going to over and have sex. Don't judge(it's been almost a year without any action) WE had sex for the first time last year. (We had wanted to for over 14 yrs)- since HS Anyways, I knew the risk was that I do and my heart would get broken. He asked me to come over and wear something sexy and tell him I want him. I said ok and asked what the address was. And he then texted back really? He said he got really nervous but not a bad nervous. And I texted back my heart was beating really fast. He said I know mine is too. And he was saying that he was really nervous to hang out with me, and that if we could just chat. And I said and what kind of chat. Just had to be clear. Text and phone. I also said I thought all this time you didn't want to talk, and he said yeah, me too.
I guess I should look at it as a good thing, he wants to get to know me, and it's not about sex anymore. It just kind of surprised me, just when you think you have it all figured out, life surprises you. What do you think ladies. could this be a good thing? Maybe I'm not clear on the background of the story... let me know.


Asked by Sillylins at 10:26 AM on Jul. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Level 27 (31,211 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (28)
  • If you want this to go somewhere, probably the best thing you can do is let him know exactly where you stand. Acknowledge that there is awkwardness and that you're both nervous. Then talk about it.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 1:08 PM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • I think he is playing you again and finding a new way to get you in the sack. You should know his address before you sleep with him. Indeed, you should know the contents of his closet, including the back corner where he tosses stuff before company comes over.

    If you don't know these things, if you cannot ask him about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, do NOT sleep with him. If you don't know his brain, DON'T sleep with him.

    And sorry, I'm not real sympathetic to a year without any "action." You may know my husband had a serious motorcycle accident in 2004... there has been NO "action" since then, but our marriage is stronger than ever.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:06 AM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • i say give him a try he sounds like he want to know you more better just take it slow to see where it goes

    Answer by Lovingmommy1028 at 11:42 AM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • I think this guy is definitely interested but doesn't want to rush into anything at the moment, he sounds like a good guy that wants more than just sex.....and this is a good quality rarely found in men....

    Answer by older at 1:30 PM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • Honestly, I think your best bet would be to meet a new guy who doesn't have a complicated history with you, and then build a relationship the old-fashioned way--get to know eah other first, then think about sex. I haven't always followed my own advice, but I can say from experience that sex at the wrong time complicates things exponentially.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:03 PM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • You seriously need to buy a vibrator.


    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:39 AM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • in love....getting to know someone takes time, falling in love is risky no matter what, how much or how long you have known the person.  Best of luck!


    Answer by Monsita at 3:31 PM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • If you feel he is ready to get to know you, plan to meet in public until you know for sure it is serious.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:31 AM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • it almost sounds as if youre saying- because you havent had sex then no one else should have sex
    it isnt like you were single and abiding by a set of religious or moral mores
    it isnt as if your spouse walked in one day and said he is going to be celibate and you had no input

    your spouse was in an accident- and other people around you are still getting laid.

    and to say there is no action? surely the two of you share intimate moments, some sort of physical and obviously emotional contact

    single persons or persons whose partner has decided to no longer have sex are obviously missing even the deep emotional contact

    Answer by feralxat at 11:21 AM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • i don't know his address. because he just recently moved.
    i wouldn't consider sleeping with someone who kept their address a secret.
    are you sure hes single?
    if he wants to even get to know you better doesnt that mean hanging out with one another?
    going on dates etc? and yet youve not seen him in a year?

    Answer by feralxat at 11:50 AM on Jul. 9, 2013