Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How would you handle this or just let it go?

What would you do if you have little friends come over to visit your dd10 and they pretty much stay a long while like lunch to dinner or maybe not want to leave.
I don't mind if they spend the night they just live around the block. But I have noticed their parents like to drink and sometimes notice they might be having alittle buzz while we talk but hey that's their business I just feel sorry for their girls (8 & 10).
I just don't want the parents to take advantage of me bc I really care for them girls they are quiet and calm girls I guess that is why I can handle
How can you help kids when they have parents like this even though I know they love their girls.

Some advice please thank you ladies ;)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Jul. 9, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Decide where your boundaries are and stick to them. But help as much as you feel able to because you never know when you can make a difference in the lives of kids who need you

    Answer by Ballad at 9:40 PM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • I would just be there for the kids as much as possible without overstepping my bounds. Sure if they are good kids they can come over and play but I'm not going to go out of my way to have them be at my house as much as possible. If the parents were raging drunk all the time and the home life was awful then I might say something to the parents or get CPS involved, but if you only see them a couple times a week after work while they are winding down then it's probably not too bad. Final word: just keep an eye on it.

    Answer by LadybugTash at 9:42 PM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • are the kids neglected, abused or otherwise mistreated?

    Answer by feralxat at 9:42 PM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • So do the girls not want to leave your house?? I would do as balled said

    Answer by rachel216 at 9:43 PM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • Let them stay. I wouldn't assume the parents as un fit or anything.

    Answer by staciandababy at 10:15 PM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • How would I handle it? I would let them come over. But would tell them at meal times to leave. At a certain time at night, like before dinner. I would tell them to go home for the night. I am not into kids staying over.
    But if you do not mind feeding them and letting them stay the night.

    Answer by louise2 at 10:36 PM on Jul. 9, 2013

  •      How often on the average are they there eating lunch and dinner ?    


    Answer by LeJane at 10:39 PM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • I don't let kids stay over when it's a mealtime unless they're spending the night.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 10:42 PM on Jul. 9, 2013

  • @ ferixat no they are not they look like 2 normal happy girls thank goodness but they do like to hang out alot here.

    @ rachel216 its not they don't want to leave my home they just like hanging out with my dd for hours on end.

    @ staceyandababy I don't believe they are unfit it just worries me that their parents look like they are buzzing and have seen them driving like that :(

    @Lejane all this started last week Friday and it won't end until this Friday when mom returns from the trip something to do with court :/ helping out a friend something like that.

    @ Ginger 0104 I have to have some kind of plan I can not have these girls here if dad does not pick them up on time and wait on him while its dinner time so I just include them with us and hopefully by the time we all have dinner dad will be good and ready to have his girls...I understand he works all day but c'mon he needs to pick them up already.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:13 AM on Jul. 10, 2013

  • Set your boundaries, I too have a similar issue with my son's 9yr old friend. I was suggested by others & even my doctor to only have play-dates last no longer than 3hrs & when it's lunch or dinner time send them home & say maybe you can back after dinner.
    There's nothing wrong with the parents having a few cocktails, PROVIDING they aren't harming the children, driving or harming each other. Plus how young are the parents? In my case the parents of my son's friend are 16yrs younger, sort of a different attitude or generation.
    I think you sound like a great lady for being so sensitive & caring but you can't raise these girls & if you continue to always provide for them, have them over etc... then you in a sense will be raising them.
    Maybe talk with the parents they might not even realize what's going on

    Answer by mom1767 at 10:34 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.