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i have a 6 year old son and my boyfriend have 3 kids one is 16 and he is not bad he doesnt bother me at all but then he has a 9 year old daughter who i love but she is up my butt all the time

witch i dont mind half the time but some time it can bother me, then my boyfriend also has a 4 year old boy and he's not that great of a listener especially when him and my 6 year old get together they are bother bad together then and my boyfriend likes to act like his kids can do no wrong and everything is my son..I try to even everything up the best way I can if one watch a movie I then let one of the other kids pick a movie to watch, but with all of them there is no "win win situation" they are going to complain no matter what and I dont no what to do to please everyone at once it stresses me out really bad..I also have a tun of toys they all can play with and netflix to watch and a play station, and wii for all of them to play with but it seems like after a while there is still no pleasing them all and they start to fight after a while.what can i do to please them and keep me from stressing out really bad?

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tracy523

Asked by tracy523 at 2:00 PM on Jul. 13, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • As a parent you can not please everyone. As long as your being fair taking turns will not kill anyone and if they don't like having to wait then who cares. You get what you get and don't throw a fit in my house. Don't let it stress you out and when my girls start up they will both get in trouble a nice timeout always seems to get them in a better mood.
    skinnyslokita

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 2:05 PM on Jul. 13, 2013

  • I would get a low blow up pool. Get yourself a lawn chair. Get some beach balls & sit outside with them & let them get their energy out. They have so much energy that they need to get it out! Keep them in a fenced area, watch them & let them run like crazy!
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:20 PM on Jul. 13, 2013

  • You will NEVER please everyone. Stop even trying. It's not important. THIS is the important thing and alarming thing in your entire post:

    "my boyfriend likes to act like his kids can do no wrong and everything is my son.."

    This is a HUGE RED FLAG. If you and your boyfriend cannot see eye to eye on this one and he has no capability of seeing when his children are at fault, then DO NOT continue this relationship because it will only get worse.

    Family counseling is in order to blend this family. If he refuses, then the blend won't happen.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:22 PM on Jul. 13, 2013

  • yup- that sounds normal (for the kids)
    you need help with learning to deal with them it sounds like. If they fight, separate them. Set timers for gaming and such so things are fair for them...
    there is NO WAY you are going to make all of them happy at the same time for the most part, so let that dream go ;)
    all you can do is be fair and loving to them ALL.
    Do they play outside? or have activites where they get excercise? wear them out a bit- it may help.

    If the boyfriend doesn't think you treat them all fairly, or that his kids do no wrong- you two need to work that out
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 3:00 PM on Jul. 13, 2013

  • So your boyfriend's kids are NEVER to blame, in his eyes?

    Kids are kids - they're always going to be able to find something to complain about. Whether it's that someone else is getting more time on a video game or they're getting more mashed potatoes at dinner or that so and so looked at them funny, there's always something. I joke that if my kids couldn't find something to complain about, they'd complain about having nothing to complain about.

    What bothers me is that your boyfriend thinks his kids can do no wrong. Unless your kids are demon spawn, they can't possibly be causing every single problem that crops up. And if he can't see that his kids play a role in what happens, it's going to make small problems bigger, and it's going to make your kids resentful because they're always being blamed for everything.

    You need some family counseling to see if this can be worked out.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 3:34 PM on Jul. 13, 2013

  • A lot of getting stressed out really bad because someone isn't pleased or someone complains is about taking on responsibility FOR pleasing people, or keeping people happy.

    You can't control other people's feelings or honest reactions. And their "negative" feelings aren't your job to fix! Recognizing that, alone, takes a lot of stress out of the equation.

    Think of how extra-stressful it is for other people--for kids!--when their honest feelings of disappointment, dislike, or unhappiness trigger so much stress in an adult that it sends the message that they somehow are doing something wrong by having feelings & opinions! (Since it stresses out the adult.) All because the adult unconsciously assumes that her job is to "fix" it, which is an impossible task.

    Making more room for feelings in your household (so that they aren't weighing you down with responsibility & you can actually tolerate them without resistance) helps!!
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 7:04 PM on Jul. 13, 2013

  • I agree, I'm more concerned about you than I am about the kds. Thee's only so much stress you can deal with, and I've been there, trying to make boyfriend and stepkids happy. It can drive you crazy after a little while. Pleasing them all is not your responsibility. Your boyfriend needs to help you enforce rules about taking turns and not fighting. And if he thinks it's all your son making trouble, he may not be the right guy for you.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:56 PM on Jul. 17, 2013

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