My son has been dating this girl for 3 years now, I love her, she is great. Six months ago we found out that she is pregnant, I am over the moon about it, this is my first grandchild, and its a girl, I never had a daughter.
Anyways they are both 21. When she got pregnant, he moved into her house, she inherited it 2 years ago when her parents died. He has a full time job, but he only pays for his phone and car insurance, he doesn't help her with any other bills. I've talked to her about it, she said that she tried to talk to him about paying more, but he never has any money left. I tried talking to him, and he says the same thing.
So, today I decided to stop by their home and bring them some stuff I bought for the baby. I am driving up and I see her, mowing the lawn. In my mind I was thinking "why the hell is she mowing the lawn, its 95 degrees out and my son is off work today" She invited me in and I see my son playing video games, I wanted to slap him. When she was out of the room, I confronted him on all of his behavior. And he has the nerve to tell me " I don't like yard work, I never chose a house with a yard, if I had the choice, we wouldn't live here".
I drove home in tears, I was so embarrassed for him. That girl does all the work in this house. I called her and tried to talk to her, she said that she is very upset that he is acting this way, and that she would leave him if she wasn't pregnant, she doesn't want her baby without a father.
When I got home I asked DH, to go take our son to lunch or something and knock some sense into him, not physically of course. He is still out.
I am so heartbroken, because honestly, she would be better off without him.
I guess no question, just vent.
First of all, thank you ladies for your advice. While DH was out with DS, I went to go have a heart to heart with GF. She said that she has been fighting with him about it for a while. And didn't think anyone noticed. She plans on giving him an ultimatum, he has one month to start pitching in, she set aside bills that will be his responsibility. She doesn't have a mortgage, she payed off the home with some of the money left to her and she just pays property taxes. So she set aside about 35% of bills that he will be responsible for and half of all groceries or she will kick him out. I told her I fully support her decision, and asked to be in the life of my grandbaby if it came to that, she said she would never keep the baby from me and that I have been like a mom to her since hers passed away. Made me cry
She also told me that this is out of principal, she doesn't really NEED his help, she makes very good money running the company her grandparents started. which was passed on to her mom, and now to her. And he doesn't know how much she makes, or how much the bills are, which are not much, she lives very modestly and makes good decisions with money.
I just hope evrything works out and he doesn't have a hissy fit. She is an amazing girl, and right now, he doesn't desrve her, I hate to say that about my own son.Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on Jul. 13, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)
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