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37 weeks pregnant and need to let go but how???

Been with my boyfriend for 8 years . @ first everything was all tht I wanted , he made me so happy. Can't imagan life without him after the 4th year. We moved in together.we also had an abortion because of a lot of stuff, we didn't had money or anything look after a baby . Bought where to young that time. He got a good job after our 5th year and and that's when we tried again for a baby. He then cheated on me it left me suicidal I never thought ill be that way ever. Then things got good again until resently I found out he cheated again . But this time am 9 months pregnant. It just left me full of stress hurt and pain . Why am I still holding on I do not know. Help anyone.

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chan87

Asked by chan87 at 5:09 PM on Jul. 14, 2013 in Pregnancy

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You are vulnerable right now with your pregnancy, finish this baby first, the baby's well being is what counts now......then after you deliver, make plans with friends or relatives to get out of this relationship, it is not good to raise a child in that type of environment.  Your man is a cheater and will always be a cheater, get out as soon as you can, you deserve better!

    older

    Answer by older at 5:27 PM on Jul. 14, 2013

  • How do I stop loving him when he means the world to me . Rite now it feels like my life would not go on without him. And then again my hurt would also not disapear . Ill be forever out of trust with him. I do not know how to deal with this right now .

    Thank you for your advice .
    chan87

    Comment by chan87 (original poster) at 5:36 PM on Jul. 14, 2013

  • I am so sorry for your pain. I can relate to your hurt and fear. It is easy for me to tell you what to do as an outsider. The obvious answer is leave him. I know from experience its not a matter of knowing the right decision it is following through with the right choice. I am in a similar situation but my man uses drugs. I need to leave and have been trying to. I am pregnant now with our second child. It will not get better. It will only keep getting harder!!You'll end up ruining your child's life if you stay in an unhealthy relationship. Not only that but your child will see your pain and mimic this behavior as an adult. I am so sorry women like us lose our self-esteem and self respect. You need to some how start building yourself back up. Wether you leave yet or not. I go to Alanon...they always tell me when you've had enough pain things will change. Dont wait until your so broken its the only choice you have. I AM Sorry 4 U
    Hpinedo0

    Answer by Hpinedo0 at 5:42 PM on Jul. 14, 2013

  • My heart goes out to you. Older is right: you need to focus on the health of your baby and yourself right now, then make plans with your friends and family. And even though it feels like your world will not go on without him, trust me, it would. 3 1/2 yrs ago, my now ex-husband left me. I was so much in love with him and thought my whole world had just come crashing down around me. With the support of my family and some counseling, I made it thru the darkest hours of my life and am now a much stronger person than I ever was. I also found a man that treats me way better and am the happiest I have ever been. Another thing that helped me was to write in a journal. On the days that I wanted to beg him to take me back, I would read the entries from the days when he treated me like crap and slept with all the young college kids.
    tempsingl3mom

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 6:01 PM on Jul. 14, 2013

  • hugs

    tempsingl3mom

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 6:01 PM on Jul. 14, 2013

  • "How do I stop loving him when he means the world to me ."

    By remembering that YOU do not mean the world to HIM. This is not something to be sad about. It's something to be royally PISSED about. He's treating you like you're a dog he ran over in the street.. and he's run over you multiple times just for the hell of it.

    No tears allowed here... you are to get ANGRY. Because he's also treating your BABY this way. He's no one to shed tears over.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:34 PM on Jul. 14, 2013

  • Very soon, you will have a baby who will need your love and strength. Do what you need to do for yourself and the baby, and let the man go.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:57 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • Hun, you're in a tough place, but I understand, on a smaller scale. I had been with my boyfriend for a while, granted not as long, and even though we didn't plan our daughter, I thought things were going well, and that we were happy. He ended up cheating on me, with a friend of mine at that, for the second time in the relationship. He had cheated on me with her right before I got pregnant as well, and then I found out again in January, and also found out he had been telling her we split up. I had to break it off, not just for my sanity, but for my daughters as well. You will never stop loving him, that is a give in. He is the father of your child, and you will always have the special bond to him, that no one else has. You just have to remind yourself of what is better for you're health, and you're child's well being. A child cannot grow up well, if the parents are constantly at odds and there is alot of deception.
    ChrysAsh

    Answer by ChrysAsh at 12:51 PM on Jul. 18, 2013

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