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How can i get my 3 year old to go to bed without me?

Our nightly routine is- supper, play for a little while, bath, and then bed by 10 and I let him watch one or two cartoons. Sometimes he falls asleep with the TV on but most of the time he doesn't until I turn the Rev off. He sleeps in my bed and I have to lay down with him! He has a bed in my room right beside my bed but won't sleep in it. Sometimes I put him in his own bed when he falls asleep but he ends up in the bed with me.

What I want is to put him to bed by himself whether its in my bed or his own and I come back to the living room while he goes to sleep. Mainly, BC I'm about to have a new baby and I may not be able to lay down with him every night.

I have been told to just put him in bed, shu the door and let him very himself to sleep. He won't do that. I've tried and he just screams and keeps getting up forever. I can't handle him being under thay much stress!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:39 PM on Jul. 14, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • I know it's heart breaking and stressful but I do agree with laying him down and allowing him too learn how too fall asleep on his own. I learned how to do that out of pure self preservation. My twins have been put to bed since they were babies. My oldest learned when he was 5. Bedtime routine is very important and it sounds like you have a good one established. It was many long nights of crying and pulling at my heart strings but it will pay off if you stay strong and adamant on him sleeping in his bed. Soft night light, potty, bedtime story so there are no excuses. Lay him down, reassure him he will see you in the morning. When he sneaks back into your room, quietly take him back. As many times as it takes. He will eventually learn you mean business. It's all about staying strong and reassuring him he is safe.

    Answer by Chrismajo at 6:54 PM on Jul. 14, 2013

  • ^^^What she said. I had to do the same thing with my kids when they were little. It's hard, but it is a must. There are many things that are hard to do as parents but we still have to do them.

    I've talked to some mothers that have had great success with sticker charts. Each time the child sleeps in his/her own bed, he/she gets a sticker. The stickers can be traded in for a special toy, deciding what's for supper, or whatever else you decide.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 7:20 PM on Jul. 14, 2013

  • silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 8:34 PM on Jul. 14, 2013

  • Toughing it out is the only way. There isn't anything magical that will do it. Dream lights and/or soft music can help. The bright moving lights of a tv have been shown to stimulate the brain actually making it harder to go to sleep, maybe you should change your routine to have tv watching earlier?
    Wake him up at the same time every morning, regardless of when he finally goes to bed (that will make him more tired that night, easier to get to sleep). I read somewhere it takes 3 days to set a new routine. Give it at least that many days.

    Answer by missanc at 8:35 PM on Jul. 14, 2013

  • Explain the new routine to him and stick to it. You might also give him your favorite robe, etc for him to have with him when he goes to bed.

    Answer by silverthreads at 8:41 PM on Jul. 14, 2013

  • You've set up a bad habit that will be hard to break. Put him to bed (earlier) and every time he comes out, walk him back and pat his head and tell him this is his bedroom where he is safe. Do this every time (even if it's fifty) even if he comes out screaming. He's playing you now. Get rid of the extra bed in your room. Insanity.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Jul. 14, 2013

  • First, a more age appropriate bed time. 10:00 is just absurd. A child his age should be in bed by 7:30 - 8:00. Second, television is the most unhealthy way to fall asleep. Third, be responsible and just lay him down. Of he cries or gets back up just put him back. Honestly this just isn't all that hard. It scares me you have a second child on the way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • Excuse me?? I know I have made a mistake but I wouldn't have it any other way! I love my child sleeping with me BC I know he's safe and since his daddy works nights it makes us both comfortable. Maybe u should check your parenting before you try to correct someone else's. And 10:00 is perfectly fine for our schedule as if right now. When he starts school it may be earlier!

    I am going to attempt to the let him cry himself to sleep tonight but he will be in my room in his own bed!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:44 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • When he starts school is when you decide to exercise good sleeping habits? Wow. By then it is too late.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • Well what i was doing is recorded a song that i was singing to my kids and putting it on while she was in his cot and me outside the room.

    Answer by leo1977 at 6:55 PM on Jul. 15, 2013

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