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2 Bumps

A guy at work

I'm getting really attached to this guy at work who gives me hugs and loves to talk to me. I hadn't seen him for about a month and a half and I decided to go visit friends at my old job,I transferred from. He was there and gave me the longest hug ever and it felt great. My own husband doesn't give me that kind of attention,he's always yelling at me,and doesn't listen to me. He pretty much ignores me.
I really wish I had a guy that actually had a sweet side like this guy at work. However I'm 40 and have 4 kids and a grand daughter already. This guys is way to young for me,and I would divorce my husband but I don't make enough to support my kids by myself. a four bedroom house here in utah county utah is 1100+ a month I could get on housing where I pay a portion according to my income I guess but that;s a long waiting list. I hope maybe someone has some good suggestiions?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Jul. 15, 2013 in Money & Work

Answers (15)
  • How about either couple's counseling or devoting your time and energy to your marriage instead of going around hugging other men and fantasizing about them? If you are completely finished with your marriage, then do him the favor and leave him, don't use him anymore.


    Answer by JeremysMom at 12:42 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • Just remember, the grass ISN'T always greener on the other side.
    Sounds like it's time to start watering yours.

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 12:54 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • While I understand where you are coming from, as when I was married and going thru a rocky patch in my marriage when my then husband was yelling at me all the time, there was a guy that I worked with that was sweet on me. I did consider divorce, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted out of the marriage, I just wanted that spark back, that extra attention. My then husband and I had a serious talk and got the spark back. Granted, it only lasted 5 yrs and then he left, but that's beside the point. It was still 5 more yrs that we had together.

    Just remember, the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow that side too.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 12:58 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • Couples counseling with your husband. TOMORROW. If he won't go then be prepared to be divorced, and you will have to muddle through on your own.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:04 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • So you're divorcing your husband for a guy you used to work with who gives great hugs?
    Try telling us the real story.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:27 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • JMO but the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, probably because you are fertilizing it.
    You efforts might be better spent in trying to renew the happiness you most have shared at some point. You may need counseling to get there but isf you put the effort in you might find you have always had treasure right in your grasp.

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:36 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • You can still get attention and hugs from that other guy but just don't let it go over the line. However, I think it is really a big symptom of how unhappy your are in your marriage. If financial security is the only thing keeping you in the marriage, then work on being financially independent. Get a job, go back to school...just do whatever it is that you need to do. Don't let yourself die. You're still young enough to find happiness. I know someone who found her soul mate at age 55. However, I think you shouldn't place too much emotional dependence on that other guy. It may not last. He might not want more than to be a friend. Focus on getting out of the marriage but not necessarily on transitioning to that other guy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • Marriage counseling can work wonders with the right counselor. And it deserves a chance before dissolving a marriage. If not, then I agree you need to start making yourself economically independent and/or see a good lawyer.

    Answer by silverthreads at 6:40 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • You already decided not to divorce the asshole you are with.
    Best to stop thinking of the what ifs that will never happen.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:04 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

  • It's a false infatuation. You are making him out to be something he isn't in your head.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 8:50 AM on Jul. 15, 2013

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