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I want to cut my sons hair and my husband doesn't.....so we fight about it what do I do to get him to see what needs to be done?

My son is thirteen and has shoulder length hair,he and my husband like it long. But he doesn't take care of it or brush it and therefore looks like some homeless person when he goes out with us. I try to help him care for it but he tells me to leave him alone and he will do it himself......school starts in three weeks and I'm dreading it...if I mention cutting it my husband gets angry and tells me it's my sons decision not mine then we argue.

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Pattylynn79

Asked by Pattylynn79 at 2:32 PM on Jul. 16, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • After he said he will take care of it himself how long did it take for him to start taking care of it?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:35 PM on Jul. 16, 2013

  • I would just take him to a Barber & have it done. So what if either one gets mad? You don't want him to look grungy for school. Appearance is very important to self esteem & how others portray you. You would be doing the right thing.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:35 PM on Jul. 16, 2013

  • It's hard to insist on things when you and DH are not on the same page. That being said, at 13 let him be and his peers will sort him out.
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 2:36 PM on Jul. 16, 2013

  • Talk to your husband alone and come to an agreement. He can have his hair anyway he likes it as long as it is clean and groomed. The proviso of course is that it is within the school's guidelines.

    Explain that it is not the length or style but the dirt and smell.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:37 PM on Jul. 16, 2013

  • He's 13, I think he should wear his hair how he likes it. My 13 yo has hair longer than I would like, but that's his decision. However, I do make him brush it before he leaves the house. And once/week or so I hand him my conditioner to use in the shower (on a daily basis he uses a 2-in-1, which is fine for his hair type).
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:43 PM on Jul. 16, 2013

  • I know my kids buttons, so when my son was having problems in high school, I made his life very uncomfortable. I was in daily contact with his teachers, so I knew exactly what he was supposed to get done, and what he had failed to get done, and I would badger him about it. "Did you do this worksheet yet? Let me see it. Don't forget to hand it in." Then I told his sp.ed. teacher to follow him to class and make sure he handed in his work. And if it was not done he had to go the the sp.ed. class and finish it. This drove my son crazy, and after a few months of this, he decided to get his act together. Could you find a way to make it so that taking care of his hair would be easier than dealing with the daily badgering? When he says leave me alone mom, just sweetly say, I will as soon as you brush your hair.
    musicmaker

    Answer by musicmaker at 2:58 PM on Jul. 16, 2013

  • I'm not a fan of my son's hair either. However, it's his hair and I look forward to making fun of him in about 10 years when we look back at pictures.
    BeaverHouse

    Answer by BeaverHouse at 3:13 PM on Jul. 16, 2013

  • Well one thing you can do. If he does not take care of it. Tell him he will not be going anywhere with you.

    See I do not like long hair on males. So I would make him cut it. Even if my DH said no. While my DH wan't around, son would get a hair cut.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:30 PM on Jul. 16, 2013

  • my son has long- ish hair and doesn't always comb it- but he is 17 and can have it how he likes- it's on HIS head!
    I have noticed-when he goes to hang out with a girl though, he will comb it pretty well ;)

    It isn't like he has a job he has to cut it shor for so...I would leave it be
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 3:30 PM on Jul. 16, 2013

  • i guess I'm old school,because while you're living in my house,you'll look presentable,which includes having your hair at a normal length and cleanliness
    Unless your culture or religion forbids the cutting of hair,it should be collar length or shorter IMO
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:36 PM on Jul. 16, 2013

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