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Should I just end the relationship - tired of being on the backburner!

I have been in a relationship for the last 91/2 years "we are not married because he does not want or always has an excuse opposing marriage". So, recently I told him I could not do this anymore - he was going to have to committ. So, he bought a ring - didn't really come out and say will you marry me it was more like are you ready to be Mrs. So and So! Well, at first I was happy about it of course but, then he tells me he wants to get married in a 1 1/2 - he hasn't told his friends and I think he...he thinks he bought some more time. I Love him but, i'm so tired of the excuses and delays that I'm really considering just ending the relationship all togeather.

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Asked by confusedinOK at 10:50 AM on Jul. 17, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Sounds like it is time to move on. Also see how much you can get for the ring. ;-)

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:53 AM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • Yes. He's playing you. Time to get out. PAST time to get out.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:58 AM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • Are there any other issues in the relationship? I'm married but if I found someone I really loved & was perfect in every way but just didn't want to marry then it wouldn't really make a difference to me all that much. Unless there was a reason why he won't marry you? Financial reasons, prior marriage & still not divorced....what is the REAL reason???

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:59 AM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • I'd call his bluff and start making plans

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:05 AM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • No, there are not other issues. We are both finacially stable but, he does have a fear of divorce - several of his freinds have gone through some doozies and are very negative about it. I can tell you I will never live with a man I am not married too! I have really been thinking about and reading the bible more and more. I want my life to be blessed by God and I am at a place where if I have to let go of this relationship in order for my relationship with the lord to grow then I will.

    Comment by confusedinOK (original poster) at 11:11 AM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • Answer by butterflyblue19 7 minutes ago

    LOL..he did say that he wanted a big wedding so, I suppose I could go ahead and reserve a place now. : ) Sorry, but that is funny and I think I will.

    Comment by confusedinOK (original poster) at 11:15 AM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • I know most won't agree with me on this, but I say keep it the way it is now. You are basically married anyway. What will change? A name? If it's the comfort of saying, "I'm married" then I don't see the big deal. I guess I think differently about it now. If it's not broke no need in fixing it... JMO

    Answer by goofygalno1 at 11:17 AM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • If it's a deal breaker for you then you need to stand firm & break the deal.

    Answer by 3libras at 12:30 PM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • Is a piece of paper going to change anything?
    This can't be the only reason you'd want to call it quits.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:46 PM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • The only way I would stay is if he gives a little more, such as setting a date, reserving the hall....

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 1:32 PM on Jul. 17, 2013

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