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Kudos to my husband.....anyone else have great success with a point system?

My husband today decided to tell our 5 yr old(who has been acting out lately) that he can earn "booboobaba"(a funny term/word they use together) points if he behaves and will lose them if he misbehaves. What shocked me more is that he actually took to it, we have tried it before for extended periods and he just wasn't into it. Now he is, he is keeping track of his points, asking how to earn more points etc.

so way to go dad.

Do your children respond well to a point system?

Answer Question
 
tntmom1027

Asked by tntmom1027 at 7:52 PM on Jul. 17, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 27 (31,955 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • My Son hears me as Blah, Blah, Blah....When my DH tells him something it's like law! I guess since he is with me 24/7 he just tunes me out. DH is more of a novelty! My Son is in awe of him! I have no idea why! LOL!
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 8:06 PM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • BTW, Congrats on the accomplishment! :)

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 8:06 PM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • We have not tried a point system but we just started a system using white boards and it is working fabulously.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:12 PM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • I use a point system for both hubby and daughter but I keep it a secret that way it's not fake good behaviour and they get rewarded when they genuinely deserve it. But I hint about keeping track so they are aware I'm watching........lol
    pinkparcel

    Answer by pinkparcel at 8:20 PM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • We haven't tried a point system, but my daughter did take well to the sticker chart at preschool that would let her earn rewards from the treasure box. So the potential for success is there if we need to explore it in the future.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 10:07 PM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • We tried something similar called the "listening" jar with a mason jar and some gem stones. Told our son once the jar is full we'd take himto Legoland. It worked for maybe a week, then he lost interest.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 11:17 PM on Jul. 17, 2013

  • My husband gives my kids "cool points" or takes them away depending on behavior. It worked well when they were in elementary school.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 7:56 AM on Jul. 18, 2013

  • The problem I see with this method is that it is all external, teaching self benefit for pleasing someone else. I wanted my children to behave well because it was the right thing to do even when no one else was watching. I wanted to teach integrity and build character rather than making rule keepers.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:07 AM on Jul. 18, 2013

  • No the token economy system doesn't work well for our kids. It is pretty successful most of the time, just not for us.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:17 AM on Jul. 18, 2013

  • NannyB., I share the priorities & long-term goals you articulate, but the thing is the approach you advocate in your answers is externally focused. It orients the child toward prioritizing pleasing someone else (to the point of internalizing their values, out of psychological necessity.) You advocate "inflicting pain" from a very young age in order to "instill" this discipline, integrity & character. That is effective in separating a child from himself & causing him to introject someone else's values & to accept conditions of worth (so that he is good IF he is seen/judged as good, and all his value is contingent on someone else's approval.) The outcome of this approach when it is applied VERY early typically is "good" (convenient) for society because it enforces compliance, but that IS "making rule keepers" & I don't see a meaningingful distinction between your beliefs & other applications of reward/punishment. Same problems.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:18 AM on Jul. 18, 2013

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