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Ugh, my son is just a BRAT!

He's bossy, loves to be in charge of everything (gets that from daddy), is always making LOUD noises, or screaming, or whining, or being just plain rude, never stops messing with the dog, And when he gets excited he gets SO HYPER. I've tried, and tried AND tried to explain to him what good behavior is like. Oh and he loves to act out in public thinking I wont do anything about it. But he doesn't seem to get it. Time outs seem pointless. Ive tried taking toys away, worked only for a short time. What should I do?? Btw he's 6.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:21 AM on Jul. 18, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • Have you had him tested for Autism?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on Jul. 18, 2013

  • Is he always like this, or have you just had a few bad days and you're at the end of your rope?

    Answer by Ballad at 1:59 AM on Jul. 18, 2013

  • Have you talked to his doctor about maybe ADHD? He sounds so much like my nephew. Call your doctor.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 3:38 AM on Jul. 18, 2013

  • How long has this behavior been going on? I agree about talking to his Dr. about it. If it turns out not to be anything like autism or ADHD, then you will have to work out a behavior plan for him, that includes catching him being good. Praise him when he uses his indoor voice or plays nice with the dog. Be consistent w/ the reward/punishments until he finally gets it. And of course, cherish bedtime! :0 GL

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:23 AM on Jul. 18, 2013

  • Do some role playing with him for all sorts of situations and what is acceptable. Read about having a strong willed child. Books on it in library. Plus suggestions above . Praise him when he does things right.

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:49 AM on Jul. 18, 2013

  • He needs discipline, but it's late to start so you will have to be very diligent if you are to be successful. Consequences for bad behavior are a must, as is being consistent. Children need strict boundaries which are lovingly and consistently enforced.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:55 AM on Jul. 18, 2013

  • Well you can have him tested for ADHD if you like. Otherwise stop re-enforcing the bad behavior and start teaching him appropriate behaviors. He's not a brat. He just doesn't know any better for whatever reason.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:30 AM on Jul. 18, 2013

  • Check out the book "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk." Or another book with a more comprehensive discussion & breakdown of the same principles is "Parent Effectiveness Training."
    Reading through that material & reflecting on your habitual patterns of communication can influence how you respond and therefore can transform what happens when, for example, "he's bossy."

    Start where you are (with him being bossy, or trying to be in charge of things & dictate what happens, or screaming when he's mad, or whining to try to make things go his way) and respond constructively to what actually is happening, rather than reacting to what is happening.

    Reflective listening is probably the most useful tool for responding to a "bossy" child. It really shifts you from automatic annoyance & resistance, and allows something different to happen in the interaction. A 2nd benefit is that it models what you want to hear.

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:51 AM on Jul. 18, 2013

  • My son (5 in a couple weeks) who has been diagnosed with high functioning autism does this, but not ALL the time. My son's behavior is usually controllable, but I can give a handful of examples pf ever behavior you listed. Have you noticed if the behaviors are worse during certain situations (you mentioned in public) or at certain times of the day? For example, my son is pretty well behaved at home, but when we're at Grandma's house where he has a bigger audience he acts out WAY more. I've also learned to try different techniques to avoid some of those behaviors. For example, I'll give a 10, 5, 3, and 1 minute countdown to avoid any tantrums when it's time to leave the park, or before lights out at bedtime. Also, when we're walking into the store we have "the talk" about not asking for toys, showing good behavior, not yelling, etc.


    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 12:11 PM on Jul. 18, 2013

  • *cont*

    It doesn't work every single time but it helps immensely. If you really feel like your son's behavior is really out of your control and there's no reason for him acting out (problems at home, etc.) then I'd see a doctor. I know what it feels like to feel like as a mother you're the one doing something wrong because all anybody has to say is that he just needs more discipline or that it's "normal" for his age. Go with your maternal instinct.

    Lastly, has his school had anything to say? While my son never threw tantrums in school, they were the first to listen to me when I said he had trouble sitting still, paying attention, calming down, etc.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 12:14 PM on Jul. 18, 2013

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