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Need advice for my 2 year olds anger problem?

Wow. Im not even sure how to explaine my daughter. She has severe anger issues. For example: She throws bottles at me, hits me, bites me, pinches me, tells me she doesnt like me. When i go to sit next to her she tells me to move. She kicks me in my stomach and im 14 weeks pregnant. Ive tried timeout, ive tried spanking her, ive tried being calm with her. Ive tried rewarding her for good behavior (that makes her worse.) I just do not know what else to do with her. Her behavior is so horrible that it brings me to tears because i just dont know what else to do. When her dad comes home she is a perfect angel to him, but with me this is how it is. What do I do?

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mommyofone32408

Asked by mommyofone32408 at 2:19 PM on Feb. 18, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (8)
  • What starts the tantrum or anger issue?

    If she doesn't want you near her I would sit away and say "Mommy is over here if you need her" Don't add drama to her tantrum or issue. If you KNOW what has made her mad you can state it...like "I know you wanted to stay longer" but dont add any more to it. Just let her know that you are there if she needs you. And be calm and wait. Just dont add any drama, do not state anything but fact. She needs to feel that her feelings are validated. I know she isnt acting how you want her to but she obviously has a build up of emotional crap and needs to let it out.

    If she gets the opportunity to let out her emotions without judgement she will be better able to manage the more time goes on.

    Although my son isnt talking yet this approach has worked very well with my son. When he cant have a toy or cant do something he will cry and get angry. I just sit close by and once hes done
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 2:25 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • I put out my hands and he comes give me a cuddle..its now more a case of getting a cuddle from me and hes ok about it.

    I read raising our children, raising ourselves. Its a great book and I recommend it to you to understand what I mean more.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 2:26 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • There is no drama, its him expressing his feelings and then he moves on very quickly..and thats that.

    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 2:27 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • I would say to just stay calm...all of the time. I know that is hard but the worst thing you could do is spank her or cry in front of her. Spanking teaches her to be violant to solve her problems and crying lets her know that she has control over you. Anytime she acts out, I would get to her level and tell her calmly that we don't behave that way (hit, scream, kick, etc..be specific) and that this is her warning. The next time, calmly put her in time out for 2 min. Always stay calm and in control. You may have to do this for a looooong time over and over again, but she will eventually get it.
    hgibsonorc

    Answer by hgibsonorc at 2:27 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Sometimes yes she does have reason to get angry. But most of the time no it is just random.
    mommyofone32408

    Answer by mommyofone32408 at 2:42 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • I have tried that with her, and when I do try to be calm and warn her she walks right over me and gets way worse than she was. Time out is like a joke to her. Not even close to working.
    mommyofone32408

    Answer by mommyofone32408 at 2:44 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • stay calm w/ her and give her space. i have a dtr like that. she uses the 'i hate you' stuff to get her way. she is blowing smoke. when my dtr says 'i wish daddy were here.' i say yes 'i do too.' just love her anyway. good luck.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 3:20 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • try a different method of time out. keep her occupied. find activities that you can both do. she is probably bored and is wanting somekind of attention even if it is negative. tell her if you are good we will bake brownies or go for a walk. something to keep her busy. my niece is the same way and when my sister tried a new time out she started being better. hers was taking away coloring time or game board times. there was a schedule set for her to keep her busy.
    nancygarza

    Answer by nancygarza at 5:12 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

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