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What is a mom to do when her 23 year old son is drinking every night since going to school in CHICO Ca.?? adult content

My 23 year old son moved to Chico Ca. about 7 months ago. He goes to school there and shares housing with his 2 best friends. But the COLLEGE days are getting in the way via DRINKING and doing other drugs. I AM SCARED TO DEATH that he is going to hit a brick wall through something with his health, financially (already happening) or legally. WTH am I to do. I tried sitting him down and telling him about liver failure, and its NOT pretty. It goes in one ear and out the other. Dammit, I hate this :(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:07 AM on Jul. 20, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (14)
  • Stop paying for his School. Make him move back home away from his friends & get a job.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 8:10 AM on Jul. 20, 2013

  • He's 23 years old. Well into adulthood. You can continue to counsel him but it may be time to let him crash and pick up the pieces on his own. I do agree that you shouldn't be paying a dime for his education at this point.....my kids were graduated by that age.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 8:23 AM on Jul. 20, 2013

  • Cut him off.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 8:44 AM on Jul. 20, 2013

  • It's time to tell him that you do not approve of his lifestyle and that you will not give him another cent until he proves that he is giving it up. Tell him you love him but there will be no more money coming from you. Then stick to it and don't give him any more money.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:20 AM on Jul. 20, 2013

  • Go away with him for a week or two so you can both reconnect.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:22 AM on Jul. 20, 2013

  • He is a legal adult. The only thing you can do is financially cut him off.  


    Everything else is his decision to do.  Right or wrong.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:42 AM on Jul. 20, 2013

  • I assume he is paying for his own college?
    If you are stop. He can start to take care of himself and it won't be quite as easy. If he is paying his own way there is nothing you can do since he is an adult.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:11 AM on Jul. 20, 2013

  • Where is he getting all the money for booze and drugs?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:21 AM on Jul. 20, 2013

  • I agree; if he can afford to booze it up, then he doesn't need money from you for anything else. Aside from that, all you can do is let him make his choices and be there to help him put it all back together if and when the time comes. Hopefully he will change his mind about his lifestyle before liver failure is a problem. That usually takes a long while.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 4:51 PM on Jul. 20, 2013

  • Back when I went to college Chico was famous for being a hard partying school. Guess it hasn't changed. Quit paying for anything and maybe make some subtle suggestions about cheaper schools to encourage him to switch
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 11:32 PM on Jul. 20, 2013

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