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4 Bumps

I think enough is enough - am I wrong ?

My husband died, then a year later I met a nice man who had split from his wife and they were getting divorced. Everything seemed great and I asked him to move in with me and my son who was 10 at the time. Now, almost 3 years later, we argue almost all the time and I feel I made a huge mistake. He doesn't ever pay toward the household and doesn't really earn anything, I have given him money so many times and still pay a loan for him, he moved his 18 yr old daughter in with us last summer and I let her drive my car which has recently had to be scrapped. The latest problem is he now calls me evil, mean and bad names that I cannot share here just because I refuse to let his daughter drive my other vehicle. She is messy as anything and I am just not willing to do it. I feel angry with him, let down and that I should end our relationship. All of my used-to-be-friends cannot understand why I am still with him. Please tell me what you think or if you have had a similar experience. BTW my son thinks my boyfriend is wonderful and doesn't want to lose his new Dad.

Answer Question
 
Carrie7723

Asked by Carrie7723 at 7:44 AM on Jul. 23, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Give him 30 day notice to move out. And his DD too.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:46 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • Your son thinks he's wonderful because he's not the one being treated like crap and having to pick up New Daddy's slack. You are.

    It sounds like you moved in together too quickly, and therefore discovered too late that he was a loser. Now you need to do what's best for you and your son - even if your son doesn't like it. Personally, I think you moved a bit quickly and so you need to accept that some of what will happen now is your fault. But you can't keep this guy around, letting him use you and stress you out, just because your son thinks he's wonderful. Keep in mind that even if your son doesn't see it now, he eventually will realize that New Daddy doesn't work, uses you and your money, and lets his kid take advantage of you too. Do you want your son to #1 see you treated this way, and #2 think that this is acceptable as a way to treat his future girlfriends/wife? I know I certainly wouldn't want either of those things.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:02 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • If you are that unhappy I think you need to end this relationship. Good luck.
    Alisim

    Answer by Alisim at 8:03 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • wendythewriter says it all.  It is especially important that your son does not learn that women get treated the way you are being treated.

    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 8:05 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • You made a mistake. That's what you tell your son after you have fixed it by removing these 2 leaches from your life and your home.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:40 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • Give him the boot
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • True Louise
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 10:27 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • PAST time to cut them out of your lives. No, your son won't like it. TOUGH. We don't do things so our kids will like us. We do things that are best for them. It's best for your son that the losers are cut out of your life.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:48 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • Sounds like it is time for the BF and his DD to move out and start making their own way in life. They have sponged off you and treated you like crap long enough! If they don't like it TOO BAD! They made the situation, by their own behaviors/attitudes so now they will have to deal with the consequences. Stand firm and do not let him manipulate or guilt you into changing your mind! I'd consider checking into how to legally evict them from your house, give them notice and then follow thru. I'd also change all the locks so he/she can't get back into the house! Good luck I hope everything works out for you!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:52 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • Dang, well yes you should tell him he has to go since he isn't contributing to the family in a positive way. I know it will be hard for your son because they formed a close bond. BUT there is no need to suffer so your son can think the world of a man that treats you like crap. Your son will pick up those traits and treat women like that. If you chose to let him go, sit down and talk to your son about what is going on and listen. You have to face it. No one deserves to be treated wrong.
    Jazmineamomma

    Answer by Jazmineamomma at 11:05 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

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