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He doesn't want to be bothered

I dated a guy for 3 years but had to go back over seas for 4 years. When I came back to America I found him again on facebook. A LOT had changed in my life and I was excited to see him but nervous too. When he we first met it was fun, casual, 20 something year old fun. NOw I'm older, with a kid, and wanting to settle down. We meet up..things were fine but I never knew if he liked me for me or just wanted sex. We did hang out but always ended up with sex. I was frustrated one day and just went off on him.I said someting that hurt his feelings. I tried to apologize and explain but didn't work. Now he doesn't know who I am but I still know him. I hate to admit it's over, how can I let this piece of my heart go?


Asked by Jazmineamomma at 11:14 AM on Jul. 23, 2013 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,302 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • if it's meant to be, it'll be.... although it sounds from an outside perspective that it might be done. It's got a little bit of toxic-ness to it.... too early to be fightin'!!!

    Consider one final act of trying him on for size by pouring your thoughts into a handwritten letter for him. Leave the ball in his court and make him know how you feel. If he does wanna give it another go I'd try a 10 date minimum for physical time

    Answer by hibbingmom at 11:19 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • Maybe look at this in the bigger picture kind of way. You have learned things from this experience that you should carry forth with you. What you have learned is that you can say you are sorry after saying something mean, but people always remember how you made them feel. Learn to communicate without letting your anger and frustration come between you. He may not be meant to be for you, but maybe he is helping prepare you for the one you are meant to be with.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:33 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • I think all the toxic-ness is on my end and I'm working on sorting it out. I thought the same thing. Give it some time so I can fully understand myself and have a clearer picture of my reality. I just wanted him to take me out and not sit in the house like we use to do. He told me he moved up in the world and I expected we could do something besides sitting in the house, watch movies, and then have sex. Don't gert me wrong it was good but I still felt like I'm missing something or being short changed. He got what he wanted (sex) and what did I get? To see his new place...???? Yay????

    Comment by Jazmineamomma (original poster) at 11:25 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • That is a positive way of looking at it. I feel compled to write a formal apology because he was a cool guy and I lashed out and should have used my head and talked to him not yell.

    Comment by Jazmineamomma (original poster) at 11:37 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • You know I just looked on his facebook page and he has this real pretty chick on his arm and the comment said "thats my girl" I knew he never really loved me. Because if he did we would have done more than just sit in his house and have sex. it wasn't even good. I just kept going because he was "exotic". So I am glad that I did go off on him because it was the was just simmering underneath everything and came to a head. He was never going to do what I needed him to do and kudos to me for recognizing it. (even though it left me feeling guilty but I was right in the end).

    Comment by Jazmineamomma (original poster) at 11:57 AM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • I do not think you should have gotten mad at him for something you have the most control over. ;-)

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:02 PM on Jul. 23, 2013