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4 Bumps

A friend of mine is trying to get a divorce and I got to thinking about the cost...

She got married for $100 at the court house. She admits she married him because he was good to her (at the time) and she as ready to get out of her mom's house. She loved him and he loved her but she jumped into it to get out. Now she is trying to divorce him and Contested (he ill not sign) is going to cost her upwards to $800+. She would have done so sooner- he is verbally and emotionally abusive but it as expensive. No probono or sliding scale because it is not physical abuse. (How dumb is that. He is not a threat to her safety they say)

Do you think if the cost were swapped there would be less marriages jumped into but more importantly more abuse victims getting out sooner?

 
But_Mommie

Asked by But_Mommie at 4:36 PM on Jul. 23, 2013 in Relationships

Level 44 (181,635 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • omg yes! these were my thoughts when i first filed for divorce. WHY is it so expensive to get divorce and so CHEAP to get married (to obtain the actual contract, i mean, not a ceremony with all the bells & whistles) they have it ass backwards if you ask me.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:01 PM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • I don't think we want to discourage people from getting married in the first place. Statistics still show children of married couples fair better in life both academically and financially. It would be nice to have some sort of waiting period required so people aren't rushing into it.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 5:09 PM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • It's too bad emotional and verbal abuse aren't considered threats to a woman's safety, since really, their effects are as damaging as any bruises left by physical violence.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 7:05 PM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • I think making divorce cheaper could make more people end their marriages over things that aren't really divorce-worthy. But I don't think that it would encourage abused spouses to get out any sooner. I think, while money is certainly a factor in leaving, many don't leave because the abusive spouse makes them feel so bad about themselves, convinces them they can't leave, and makes it impossible to leave (by not letting them have transportation, money, time alone to get away, etc.). I think there should be an option in place that if a woman leaves an abusive spouse, it should be cheaper or even free to file for divorce, but what really needs to happen is to find a way to provide more support to abused women, so that they know they have options other than staying. More shelters, more room in shelters, more lenient standards on what's abuse (mental and verbal instead of just physical like some have), etc.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 5:57 PM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • That's cheap. If my ex had NOT contested, it would've ran $2,000. It ended up costing me over $14,000 & I had no idea how much he was charged by his attorney. But, I suspect our divorce was around &25,000 total. We spent about $10,000 to get married.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 6:29 PM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • She is lucky to spend only $800, there are still places that grant a quickie divorce, even if the other partner doesn't sign off, assuming they don't have children together, you and her should spend the money and go on a trip, I can't recall where they still do it. I would be hard pressed if someone was abusive to NOT spend the money to get rid of him, hope she gets it all worked out.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 6:30 PM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • As far as getting married they simply what many do now and that is simply live together.
    You can live separately without getting a divorce as well.
    JMO but I bet it would remain about the same
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:54 PM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • our divorce was really inexpensive.
    we did it our selves
    basically paid for the paperwork and $150

    he did save me some money by not having to be served
    there may be options available to her
    does she Have to have an atty?
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 6:32 PM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • Most people I know spend a heck of a lot more than $100 to get married. The cost of getting out is costly in more ways than one, monetarily & emotionally. I feel some people would seek a way out regardless of price. I can see wanting out of an abusive marriage, or of one of infidelity. But I feel some don't want to put the work in & give up too easily. (not saying that's your friend) Could she make payments to her attorney? Borrow money from family?
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:35 PM on Jul. 23, 2013

  • I asked my lawyer if my ex could still divorce me if I refused to sign, he said yes.
    musicmaker

    Answer by musicmaker at 6:36 PM on Jul. 23, 2013