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2 Bumps

So now what?

I've laughed at my sons smart mouth too many times, accidentally encouraging him. Now I've created a sarcastic monster. How do I fix this now???

Answer Question
 
hibbingmom

Asked by hibbingmom at 4:14 PM on Jul. 24, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 35 (71,876 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • How old is he? Believe me, it's easy to do. The first few times it's cute or funny, and then you're in real trouble.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 4:25 PM on Jul. 24, 2013

  • Just tell him it was funny the first time you heard it, but now he's crossing the line. But you have to be able to do that with a straight face. Are you up for the challenge?
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:21 PM on Jul. 24, 2013

  • Just be honest & respectful, straightforward. Focus on communication, giving him feedback, with respect & honesty, when you are dismayed at something he says. (It will help if you break it down in your head. Don't just have a reaction where you seize up in horror & your embarrassment triggers fear & the urge to fix it NOW. Go through those emotions & engage them, so you are conscious of what the problem is, why it's a problem, and what you'd rather have happening. THAT's what you communicate.) Think of working WITH him, not needing to "break" something in him. You can engage him & offer guidance. How you proceed (opting for the force/control route or the more respectful route) will directly influence his responsiveness.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:41 PM on Jul. 24, 2013

  • What sorts of things is he saying? lol

    Something that might help in the moment is reflective listening. It lets you reflect back the emotional message of the comment (so you are acknowledging the feelings behind the sarcasm or "smart comment") translated into a more respectful or socially acceptable form. This would be especially helpful if his sarcastic comments are directed AT you and reflect feelings of irritation or annoyance on his part (rather than glib wisecracking that you are afraid will get him in trouble somewhere or cause people who overhear him to raise eyebrows, but that isn't really a "retort" to you.) The thing is, if the sarcasm reflects frustration or irritation, those feelings are not going to "just go away" so your task is to offer guidance for how TO express them. You can do this best by accepting the feelings, conveying that they ARE acceptable feelings, & modeling what TO do with those!
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:49 PM on Jul. 24, 2013

  • he is 2 months from being a 3rd grader

    example from less than 24 hours ago. "Momma it's so nice you worry about my allergies and don't vacuum when i'm nearby.... or basically ever....." and 9 times out of 10 if and when he does it in public with waiters and stuff they find him charming and encourage the heck out of him. occasionally it's actually funny but usually it's rude and annoying. drives his poor teachers crazy and often confuses classmates who don't understand (He's gifted and borderline genius but with that for boys is often lots of immaturity
    hibbingmom

    Comment by hibbingmom (original poster) at 11:48 AM on Jul. 25, 2013

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