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2 Bumps

What do you do when you're being completely ignored by your DH?

DH stays on his phone constantly. The other night I couldn't sleep because he was in bed on Facebook til 4am. I was trying to wait for him to finish doing whatever, then get busy. I fell asleep waiting & woke up at 4 and he never said a word. He stays up watching tv a lot til early in the AM, but I have to sleep! So I go to bed alone. I'm so lonely. I've told him it bothers me that we hardly ever sleep in the same bed. Sometimes we have sex, and he will get up after and go to the living room, ending up sleeping in the chair til late. Makes me feel like a hooker or some thing. Very rarely I will stay up to finish a movie but if I dont go to bed when he does, he gets irritated. Whats the difference? He also has a habit of leaving without a word. He walks down to his parents house without inviting me or even telliing me where he's going. I don't care if he goes, but he could at least let me know instead of walking right by me and walking out. Whenever we go to eat, I feel like I'm by myself because he stays on his phone. It seems like he wants me to just be here and be quiet until he is ready to interact with me. What would you do if you felt so alone?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Jul. 25, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • I have been there. My first husband did the same thing but worse i couldn't have friends or even talk to my family. When he would get mad at me even for the little things he would get my phone turned off and even lock the computer so i couldn't talk to anyone.I'm not saying he his but to find the reason why my ex-husband was always on his phone and gone late at night and so on was because he was sleeping with many people behind my back, even blamed me first and said i was doing it even tho i always stayed at home watching the kids if i wanted to i never had the time or even the objects to talk to anyone cause he would take them away.I broke my heart cause i loved him so much and even tho i knew all this i stayed to try to make it work but it only got way worse to him throwing objects at me staying out late drinking, and even having party's with under age drinking and drugs at the house.I wish the best for u hun!!

    Answer by youngmother606 at 11:36 PM on Jul. 25, 2013

  • Is it possible that he is depressed or has some emotional issues? Has it always been like this? If not, when did things change? That isn't normal behavior and it needs to be resolved. You are his wife so don't let him just not give you an answer. There is a difference between taking personal time when married and totally ignoring your spouse. You both have needs and clearly, yours aren't being met. I'd feel the same way.

    Answer by HHx5 at 11:37 PM on Jul. 25, 2013

  • Sounds like you have a roommate- not a husband.
    Have you looked at his internet history to see WHO he's talking to late at night?

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:39 PM on Jul. 25, 2013

  • Counseling.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:41 PM on Jul. 25, 2013

  • I agree with PGA... Being up until 4am on Facebook, for a grown man that is married is very suspicious. What the hell is he up to?

    Answer by anestheticsex at 11:43 PM on Jul. 25, 2013

  • At the very least, I'd start leaving him with the kids for a while, fairly often, and pursue a hobby or an interest that would put me around people doing something enjoyable. That may be enough to grab his attention. But I'd also be suspicious of what he's doing on the Net all night.

    Answer by Ballad at 11:56 PM on Jul. 25, 2013

  • I just posted an ad on craiglist because of this.
    I don't want sex I don't want to call text or hang out. I'm done teling my SO what I want but I'm not ready to leave yet either.
    I don't want to cheat. I want attention.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • COUNSELING. Immediately.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:21 AM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • Yes, he does have depression. He doesn't think he needs medicine. I have checked his phone before. Last year a "friend" "accidentally" sent him pictures of her and her friend in bras. He want hitting on her, but he didn't make it clear that it was unwanted. I got griped at for snooping. They aren't friends any more. Recently, he felt like a male friend of mine was hitting on me, & now he says he understands why I was upset about that skank. I took the guy off my friends list, but he is still friends with him. Staying up like that makes me very wary. My ex husband cheated on me and FB is how I found out. I just want him to actually pay attention to me. He was single for a while, and before that he was in an unhappy marriage. I know there are habits he has gotten used to doing, like being a loner. I just feel like I'm supposed to be at his beckon call, when he is ready to talk. It sucks.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:38 AM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • ignore him right back, and when he wants you, ignore him some more.
    Works great! lol

    Answer by lullaby572 at 1:23 AM on Jul. 26, 2013

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