Hi. Let me start off by saying I am not a mom, I am in the step-mom roll in a very difficult situation. This is an emotional time for everyone in our family, but I really need some advice on helping our 12 year old son. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, he is medicated while he is/was with his mother. However we don't have access to his medication and are not even sure if this is the correct route for him. This may be long and I apologize but alive and answers would be so greatly appreciate.
A. J lashes out, often physically. Dad and I are willing to let small things, such as leaving a towel on the floor go. However, he often yells, screams and throws things when he doesn't get his way or loses a game. Should we step in immediately to correct this behavior? My initial thought was of course. Should he be reprimanded for this behavior immediately or just calmed down and address the misbehavior at a later time? Even when he has friends over,I pull him off to the side and address the behavior and explain to him the consequences.
B. J is very caught up in video games. I believe it's because of the stimulation however it isn't the good kind of stimulation. Would getting him out, against his will be the better option? He's prone to aggression, has been shown that its acceptable behavior and becomes more aggressive when playing these games.
C. He's very... Rude. I do believe some of it is brought on by the situation we are in but some of it is not. He will blatantly say 'you don't deserve respect from me.' What should we do in regards to this?
D. He's used to using his ADHD as a crutch. He loses a game and is a sore loser? It's because he has ADHD. Throws things when he gets mad? Not his fault he has ADHD. I don't believe ADHD is his fault, but I also don't believe he should let it control his life. How can we help show him this? What are some management tools we can learn and teach him?
E. Diet. J and his sister are used to sugary, processed foods and sodas. We do not have soda, except as a treat. I have done the wrong thing and had sugary foods in the house. I was using it as a comfort. However when you ask J to slow down, it's taken as a personal slight. He will seriously eat up to 5 bowls of Fruity Pebbles in one sitting. That's unhealthy and I believe it's contributing to behavior issues. Has anyone had any luck with diet changes? Please also keep in mind that regular visits with mom do happen and she hasn't been open to respecting our rules. Both kids appear to have been fed only fast food and ALWAYS have a soda and candy at pick up, which is right at dinner time.
Thank you if you got this far and I appreciate the advice!
Answer by wendythewriter at 7:59 AM on Jul. 26, 2013
Answer by wendythewriter at 8:03 AM on Jul. 26, 2013
Answer by But_Mommie at 8:28 AM on Jul. 26, 2013
Answer by feralxat at 9:49 AM on Jul. 26, 2013
Answer by girlwithC at 10:06 AM on Jul. 26, 2013
Answer by girlwithC at 10:13 AM on Jul. 26, 2013
Answer by feralxat at 12:07 PM on Jul. 26, 2013
Answer by Rosehawk at 12:46 PM on Jul. 26, 2013
Answer by Rosehawk at 12:58 PM on Jul. 26, 2013