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2 Bumps

My husband doesnt barely want sex anymore, but no problem with porn

I know most to all guys jerk off, but this is affecting our sex life and I believe it is starting to become an addiction or something. Because he only wants sex once a week I will ask for it or try touching him to turn him on he will grab my hand away and tell me not tonight or whatever. He has an ipod that he plays on and I have a couple of times seen that he has been looking at porn on it (not searching i actually was looking at the weather and that popped up) also a couple times (he doesnt even lock the door) I have walked in and he jumped like he was doing something. I know guys masterbate and i dont care about that, but when it is affecting our sex life that is when i have a problem with it. I feel like he doesnt even love me anymore or find me attractive anymore. I told him the other day I didnt feel he loved me anymore, but he said he did then I told him I believe you love me you just arent in love with me anymore he said yes I am, but that was it didnt say anything else about it like i was crazy for thinking that or anything. I will dress up with makeup for him he doesnt tell me i look pretty or nice or anything. We dont spend any time together after work (8-5 or6) he comes home works on his truck or tractor or mows or sometimes goes fishing then weekends he normally goes fishing (i know he isnt cheating cause he is with my brother in law and would tell me). If we do have sex it is always the same position me on top. If I try to get him to get on me he wont he tell me to get on top he wont even go behind me so sometimes it does get boring because it is the same way every time we do have sex. He doesn't forplay with me before hand either or if we do he wants me to do it to him but he doesnt kiss on me things like that. I just feel like he isnt in love with me anymore. I don't know what to do or how to even bring it up to him. I did bring it up once, but all he said was yes I do like it was nothing

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Jul. 26, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • oh and the reason it bothers me is also because he does/watches this almost every day to every other day

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:39 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • whats changed

    Answer by feralxat at 12:41 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • Make a date night.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:43 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • nothing other than having 3 kids and not having the same body i did before we were married other than that nothing has changed

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:52 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • Porn can be an addiction, and if it's replacing sex and intimacy, there's a problem.
    Have you offered to watch it with him? Have you tried roleplaying the scenes he's watching? Is there something he's getting there that he's not getting from you (like is it gay porn, facials, anal or something that you don't/can't do?)

    In this case, I'd recommend counseling. (and I never do that)

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:59 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • sounds like you guys could use counseling for this.

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 1:08 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • My ex husband never admitted he had a problem. He did all the same things. said he loved me but that he felt there was nothing wrong with it. I also know that guys jack off and watch porn. I don't care, but it became a problem as he did more often then being with me. He always turned it around that I had the probelm. I tried the suggestions that PartyGalAnne has and the only thing I wouldn't do is anal which he really wanted to do. But, it doesn't matter anymore he's a ex husband and I've moved on. I'm single and I can tell you I don't miss the counless arguments about his porn viewing. Good luck!

    Answer by Sillylins at 1:09 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • partygal

    We do watch it together sometimes usually though he only wants to watch it if it is my time of the month becuase then he wants head its like he wants all that just not the sex part of it. I use to not let him do anal, but then decided to let him one time and it wasnt as bad as i thought and he liked it so i let him if i let him, but he still doesnt want it. The times we watch porn together is when i go down on him or i use my vib. he doesn't really let me watch what he watches its like he doesnt want me seeing what he watches. He always wanted to cum in my mouth or on my face (sorry TMI) so I started letting him do that, but he still isnt wanting it. His dad started off with looking at porn then he started cheating on his wife thats what i am afraid of.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:18 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • Yep. Counseling.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:32 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • have you came out and talked to him about it? Stop giving him head. Tell him that you want satisfied to.


    Answer by louise2 at 2:44 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

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