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What good am I if I don't like to do the things moms are supposed to do?

I hate to clean. I do it, but not as much as it needs to be done. I hate to cook so I have quick, easy things to fix for meals. That's what I supposed to be able to do as a mom, so I can't help but wonder, what good am I to my family if I can't handle the basics?

Please don't say to hire a maid or a cook, cuz we can't afford that.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on Jul. 26, 2013 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Loving your kids is being a good mom. Cleaning and cooking are things we all do to live a relatively healthy life. Plenty of us fix quick easy meals. Stop beating yourself up and give yourself a hug!!

    Answer by silverthreads at 1:24 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • It is sad to me that in 2013 we, as women, still define our worth as mothers and human beings by how well we cook and/or clean

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 1:03 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • I don't like to cook or clean either. Doesn't make me a bad mom. I keep the house clean enough and cook what I can. I spend time with my son and that matters more to me as a mom than a spotless house or gourmet meals. Don't be so hard on yourself and have your DH and kids pitch in with the things that you aren't as good at. You are a family, they can take on some of that as well as you.

    Answer by kmath at 1:00 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • i dont think anyone wakes up, smiles and says "i can't wait to clean the house today!"

    nobody likes cleaning. not everyone is a grade A chef either.

    you're doing what you can. as long as your kids are happy and loved.

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:02 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • Who said moms are the ones who have to cook and clean? Dads are just as capable of it.

    Answer by kmath at 1:01 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • Does anyone LIKE to clean? Really? Cleaning isn't part of motherhood, it's part of Life. Not everyone has to like to cook, that doesn't make you less of a mother.

    Try getting a book from the library about cooking with kids. They are simple recipes and your kids can help you prepare them and maybe that will help you have a better time in the kitchen. And if the kids are old enough, Chore chart. They can do most things by the time they are 6

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 1:01 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • Cooking and cleaning are NOT requirements of being a good mom. As long as you are not living in filth or starving them, it doesn't really matter. Loving them, teaching them, motivating them, leading them <= being a great parent.

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 1:06 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • women, still define our worth as mothers and human beings by how well we cook and/or clean

    you know that saying, "My floor is so clean you could eat off of it"?
    My mom wants to know, "who in the hell is feeding their kids off of the floor" :)

    Answer by feralxat at 1:57 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • Just go with it as you see fit. Wing it. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for a lifetime if depression and feelings of inadequacy by not meeting the mental expectations you made as a wife and mother. There's no rules of what we are "supposed to" be doing except taking care of the humans we brought into this works. Think of how crazy housewives of the 1950s and beyond made themselves because they were brought up thinking it was their duty to do this Betty the homemaker mundane tasks.

    It's a hard paradigm shift but it's something we all need to do because we all have it in our heads what we should be doing and it's never reality. Ever.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 2:50 PM on Jul. 26, 2013

  • Cooking and cleaning are incidental to having a household, there's no requirement you like doing them.

    Answer by SWasson at 1:11 PM on Jul. 26, 2013