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7 Bumps

Dating again – are men less courteous than I remember or is my memory failing?

I'm dating again after a few years of just occasional, non serious dates. I'm 22 now, so not exactly over the hill. But I've been a single mom for nearly 4½ years, during which time I've really restricted myself to my dd's life and happiness. And I'm sure that anyone (woman or man) gets more selfish when they are with themselves or only their own gender. BUT when I was 16, 17, 18 I was wined and dined (well, bought a BigMac and a Coke!) and not criticised for little things, cos in those days whether boys or men really did care for me or not they at least 'pretended' to, because they – well to put it bluntly –wanted to get into my pants.
But now, I've been getting "Stace, don't u think u should let me drive cos I can handle stick shift better than you" (unlikely, I've been driving stick since I passed my test) or "Stace we ought to go halves on this meal cos I don’t get paid til next week" (maybe I'm just dating the wrong guys?) or one even said to me "It's not your time of the month is it?" (I mean – apologies – but wtf??).
Perhaps I'm not the best girl for a guy to take out (correction, for a guy to "go halves" on) but shouldn’t they be courteous and just say afterwards "sorry Stace but I don't think we are right for each other" rather than prove how ignorant they are on the date?
Or has dating changed so much in 4 years? Are we considered even less worthy by men now than we used to be ?
(And btw if anyone links this with my other posting today, there is NO WAY that I would ever mention 'size' to the guy – so you can't accuse me of complaining here after complaining to him!)

Answer Question

Asked by stace101 at 9:59 AM on Jul. 27, 2013 in Relationships

Level 11 (624 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • "Are we considered even less worthy by men now than we used to be ?"

    You're 22. I suspect you're likely dating men in your age group. Men in your age group are, sometimes, not the most mature individuals around.

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 10:08 AM on Jul. 27, 2013

  • Are you dating this one guy or many guys? From your other post, it sounds like you are dating several and if that is so, how do you expect a man to treat you like a woman if you are fooling around with every guy you date?


    Answer by JeremysMom at 10:11 AM on Jul. 27, 2013

  • Dating is different than it was in high school. About 3 yrs ago, I was kinda in the same boat as you. I married my high school sweetheart and then 12 yrs later, he left me. So there I was a single mom of 3 kids and didn't take me long to get lonely. I didn't know where to start. I tried meeting men, but wasn't successful.

    It was on a very lonely wknd 3 yrs ago (to the date or quite close) that I went on some online dating sites. I chatted with quite a few and most of them seemed like they just wanted to get in my pants. There was 1 guy that said he was just looking for a mom for his son as his wife had died. But the things he wanted to do in bed were just weird.

    Then I met my current SO and it made everything else worth while. My SIL told me that I might have to kiss a few frogs before I find my prince. I'm happy to say my days of kissing frogs are over.

    Good luck!

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 10:32 AM on Jul. 27, 2013

  • Eh, I hated dating. I divorced at 38. Most of the men in that age group were crap as well. Don't do online dating.... it's a game. Try to meet someone in a little more upstanding place. The best advice I can give is try to NOT look and never meet anyone in a bar.

    Answer by m-avi at 10:36 AM on Jul. 27, 2013

  •  at least they could cram me the big log, and not these little tiddlers


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Jul. 27, 2013

  • Lol anon!

    Answer by m-avi at 11:39 AM on Jul. 27, 2013

  • Certain men have ALWAYS been this way, all the way back to Ugh the Cave Man. You're just discovering it for the first time. Most likely because when you were teenager you were seeing boys who still lived with their moms , who told them what to do. Now the boys are out of mom's influence and they're forgetting everything they ever learned!

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:05 PM on Jul. 27, 2013

  • Really! You make it sound like you are an old hag like me (52 been married 24 years) If I was suddenly single right now I would think I would sound like that.

    OK, Sounds like you are dating the wrong guys. The guys you talk about are ass holes. Expect more out of a guy and you will get it.
    If a guy asked me out to dinner and then said Dutch/ 12 and 1/2. I would have got up and left right there.
    Asking if you are on the rag is short for, "am I getting any tonight". I would have told him not I am not on the rag and not you are not getting any, because you asked that stupid question.

    Answer by louise2 at 12:27 PM on Jul. 27, 2013

  • Sorry hon, I think it's the age. My middle son is 22 y/o & is very self-centered & immature. I'm sure there are some good ones out there. I would not try the online thing or bars. Do you have any hobbies? Do you attend church? Maybe you can meet a nice young man at a place where you frequent. GL

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 12:29 PM on Jul. 27, 2013

  • You're 22. Don't date anyone under 30.
    The problem is you're dating frat boys. Not men who have kids and responsibilities.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:16 PM on Jul. 27, 2013

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