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My daughter is only 9 years old and she has a bad attitude. I have to get on to her several times before she listens or does what I ask her to do, what do I do?

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Corona269

Asked by Corona269 at 12:42 AM on Jul. 28, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • What ever it is you say whether to do something or to stop doing something, you have to mean it the first time and enforce it.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:53 AM on Jul. 28, 2013

  • What are you doing as a form of discipline for not listening?
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 12:57 AM on Jul. 28, 2013

  • It sounds like your daughter has figured out that she has some leeway. She knows when you say something, she doesn't have to listen the first time because you'll say it again, and probably again after that. Tell her that the rules are going to change, and then enforce it. Ask her to do something the first time--and ask politely, it's always amazing to me the awful way I hear parents speaking to their kids. But then if she doesn't do it, there should be a consequence. So basically, quit repeating yourself.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:58 AM on Jul. 28, 2013

  • Sounds like you have a normal 9 year old daughter trying so hard to do things her way. I've got one too!! Just be consistent, it's a tough age foe both of you!!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 1:40 AM on Jul. 28, 2013

  • ** for
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 1:40 AM on Jul. 28, 2013

  • And what are the consequences for her attitude? What have to done to punish her?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 4:22 AM on Jul. 28, 2013

  • Every child will occasionally push the boundaries even when they have been consistently enforced. If you have not done that since she was born, she still thinks she is in charge and should not have to listen to you. We spanked when ours were little for acts of defiance and disobedience. It was highly effective, but eight is a bit late to start. Whatever you decide to do, she has to suffer consequences that hurt when she behaves wrongly. And you must tell her once and no more before she gets them. You must also start today. Otherwise, When she reaches the teens, you are in for big trouble.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:25 AM on Jul. 28, 2013

  • There has to be a consequence for not cooperating. Taking away what is really important to her is one possibility. Each kid has those things that are their "currency". You need to mean it when you say it, though, so make sure you can follow through. Don't make empty threats like not going with the family on a day trip, for example, when you know you will not follow through on it. You might want to read some books from your library on dealing with a strong willed child. And there really is no reason that a child has to experience something that hurts to make them cooperate. Be stronger in your convictions and follow through. GL
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:44 AM on Jul. 28, 2013

  • Yep, kids will push you to the limit as long as they can get away with it. Sit down & work out a plan. Go over some general rules & expectations with her. Set up behavior & chore charts for her. We already have a behavior chart for my 11 y/o. We've actually had it going for several years now. Now that she's old enough, it's time for the chore chart. Hope you find what works for you. GL
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:26 AM on Jul. 28, 2013

  • Behavior therapy.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:15 AM on Jul. 28, 2013

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