Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Dealing with rude husband

Ill get an attitude because he calls me an idiot. If i refuse to do things for him he will call me names nd try to intimidate me. What should i do ami wrong ?

Answer Question

Asked by Ortiz77 at 2:17 AM on Jul. 29, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Personally, I would not tolerate my husband calling me an idiot. If my husband said and did things to purposely make me feel bad, I would tell him he either needs to stop, or I'm calling a divorce lawyer.


    Answer by musicmaker at 2:32 AM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • A partner should lift you up, not put you down.
    Sounds like you've got a winner!

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:34 AM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • I wouldn't put up with that crap, either. Next time he calls you an idiot, say, "Excuse me? I won't be spoken to that way." Then leave the room. Let him get his own dinner. Start expecting to be respected the way you deserve, and demanding it if you have to.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:36 AM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • He shouldn't call you names and you shouldn't get an attitude. Instead, when he says something calmly tell him that's not how you want him speaking to you and walk away. If he acts like a 2 year old, treat him like one. Ignore him until he addresses you politely.
    You should probably seek counseling because if he's resorting to intimidation, I doubt this will resolve itself.

    Answer by missanc at 8:49 AM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • What was it about him that made you choose him to be your husband?

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:32 AM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • I divorced my ex-husband because he did that too. Among other things. He wasn't a guy that made me feel good about myself. I got tired of him acting like he was perfect all the time and decided I was done. I would say it's important for you to stand up to him, don't let him treat you that way. And if he continues then I would decide if you are going to put up with it or say goodbye. Good luck!

    Answer by Sillylins at 10:02 AM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • Well hes been a great provider and is extremely hard working. Hes a good father to our kids and we met at church, he wasnt like this before. After he calls me an idiot ill harass him for 10 minutes at a time throughout the dayabout his anger and he twlls me to leave him alonealone

    Comment by Ortiz77 (original poster) at 10:08 AM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • Maybe you can seek some counseling at your church.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:15 AM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • Something must've changed in the equation to make his behavior change. Stress from work? Health problems? Probs with his family? I went through the same with an ex with a borderline personality disorder. You can't fix them. They need to fix themselves with professional help and medications. You draw the line on what's acceptable. The earlier you draw that line, the better. The more you tolerate it, hoping to work it out, the worse it will get. I highly suggest making a plan to leave him but in the short-term, see if you can gently suggest he visit a doctor. Sometimes chemical imbalances go undetected. The longer it takes you to leave him, the less likely he'll connect the consequences with his actions. If you were to punish a child's misbehavior, would you wait several months? No, you do it immediately so they understand the consequences.Invest in counseling in the meantime as well for the both of you, separate or jointly.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 11:32 AM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • Well I say. Stop doing anything for him. And tell him why. "You do not do thing for people why do not appreciate it!"


    Answer by louise2 at 11:55 AM on Jul. 29, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.