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3 Bumps

What can we say that will hit him?

briefly, 33 yro son homeless staying  in a shed, has gf who abandoned him and 3 kids, 1 not his , we have 5 mo and 5 yo -son has 22mo. Son needs to take care of himself and get it together but after hub and i got the baby and 5 yro the gf drops her 22 mo with our son! son is unable to do anything but watch after baby. hub and i are willing to send son to ND for work and get away-now not sure if son is going to go b cuz he has treated 22 mo o like its his own...what can i say to make him understand that he has two kids at our home he needs to care for too. and if he loved boy so much he would want a better home for him...we have absolutely no room in our home for another person, big or small.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Jul. 29, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I think he needs help with depression it can be treated but I don't think you are trained to do so. He won't get better with just words and support he needs medical attention. If you can't deal with kids call social services I guess. But main point here is get real help for this guy . He won't do better with out it and may even commit suicide.

    pinkparcel

    Answer by pinkparcel at 2:21 PM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • So let me break this down.. Son is 33, homeless and has a 22 month old that is not his and he is "taking" care of it with no job or place to live while you have his 2 children...

    That's a jacked up situation. I would call CPS and have the child removed from his care, the mother charged with abandonment and let grown son deal with himself. He is grown enough to help himself...
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 1:37 PM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • It's heartbreaking, but you'd be doing the toddler a favor if you called CPS and reported the situation. Even if your son is upset with you right now, getting his children back may be incentive enough to make him turn his life around, and the 22-month-old deserves better than staying in a shed with someone who can't support himself, much less a child.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:48 PM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • He lives in a shed with a 22 month old baby? How does he feed the child? If I were you, I would take in the 22 month old (no room or not...c'mon, if you have room for Your Grandchildren then he can fit too). I'd call CPS & have the Mother give up her rights & adopt the child. Poor little thing is a human being too! Then I would have your Son join the Military. He needs a fresh start & discipline. Is he a drug user? If not then Military or help him find a job or rehab. I would not leave that 22 month old in his or his GF care. I wouldn't do that to a dog.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:56 PM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • What a terrible situation. Your son needs to get help with whatever issues caused him to become homeless. If it's drugs then rehab. Job loss, find another. There are shelters out there & social services. The mother sounds like a real loser & should be signing over temp. custody to you so you can legally care for the children. And why not care for the 22 month old? Your flesh & blood or not, how much room can a toddler take up? Doesn't that sibling to your grandbabies deserve the same safe, secure environment? If you don't want that responsibility, then call Children Services to get them involved so they can really help these children & so your son won't have any excuses to not get his act together. GL w/ that hot mess.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:09 PM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • Where did this girlfriend go?
    Any why homeless? Is he just too lazy to work or is he on drugs or something?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:05 PM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • CPS should be willing to work with your son if he goes to them for help. Sounds like he has grown to love this 3rd child as his own. We really shouldn't judge him because of it. It's very easy to do especially when it's obvious the mom doesn't. I'd encourage your son to call CPS. They will most often help him to find a place to live, job, etc and since the child has already bonded with him he may be able to keep him as well as be able to bring his own children home with their help.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 2:07 PM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • ....treated 22 mo o like its his own....


    A child is NOT an "it"!!! 

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 2:13 PM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • Work something out so family can take care of each other.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:16 PM on Jul. 29, 2013

  • First, Call CPS and get that child, that's not even his. Put in a good home. Then take care of the kids you are taking care of. He is an adult. He can take care of himself.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:21 PM on Jul. 29, 2013