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3 Bumps

Whose choice should it be...

should I let my daughter decide or should I step in and not allow her to play with a neighbor. I understand kids will be kids but at the same time I don't want her to choose bad friends. this little girl is very rude and she tries to keep the other kids for not playing with each other she wants one person to herself. so some days she won't play with my daughter and wont play with other kids if they play with whoever she's not wanting to play with. yesterday she told my daughter that her and another girl we're going to be busy playing for this whole week and next week and she cannot play with them. I'm sick of my daughter allowing them to treat her this way friends don't do that. then she'll pull out the if you don't do that I won't play with you if you don't let me play with that I won't play with you, and she's a people pleaser so she give in. I was never like that so I get angry when I see her kindness being taken advantage of.. and her being hurt over and over.what would you do?

Answer Question
 
skinnyslokita

Asked by skinnyslokita at 1:35 PM on Jul. 30, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 31 (49,833 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I would talk to the parents of the other children who this child seems to think she can control. If all the parents & all the children present a united front & stop allowing this little bully to have the power, then she will be the odd one out. Maybe once she's left out of a few play dates, she'll see how terrible that feels & will hopefully change her ways. If not, then your dau does not need that kind of friend. Keep her busy with friends who are nice & treat her the way she deserves to be treated.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 1:42 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • My daughter sounds exactly like yours. She's such a sweetheart and let's her little neighborhood friends run all over her. I just take her aside when she comes home upset and explain to her that real friends don't hurt feelings. I leave it up to her to decide if she wants to continue playing with them or not. She's starting to ignore the negativity and continues playing with her other friends nxt door, they're real sweethearts. Now if any of them ever laid a hand on her then I would most definitely step in.
    dmartinez0205

    Answer by dmartinez0205 at 1:47 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • The only way to deal with this kind of bully is to cut them off at the knees. I would call the parents of the child the little girl says she is playing with all week and plan a play date. I also don't let kids exclude others when they are at my house.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:01 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • Normal really. How old is your daughter? I thin I would just talk to her about REAL friends and remind her that sometimes other kids just aren't going to want to play with her or always be nice.
    I wouldn't go to the mom over this, or tell your daughter she can't play with her over it
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 2:04 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • Honestly, I would tell that other girl and her parens that she's no longer welcome at your house, and make sure they all know why. The friends your daughter has now will set her up for how she expects to be treated later.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:20 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • I'm with Ballad.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:29 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • she is eight

    The friends your daughter has now will set her up for how she expects to be treated later.

    that's what I was thinking ballad. plus I see her giving in and doing things she really doesn't want t and I don't want her to let people persuade her like that I want her to stick to her guns.
    skinnyslokita

    Comment by skinnyslokita (original poster) at 2:43 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • She is going to run across kids like this going forward. You can't protect her from them all.

    So I would let her pick her own friends (within reason), but coach her on how to deal with this poor treatment.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 3:10 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • we have neighbors like that, and i dont allow my child to play with them anymore. first of all, i dont want her picking up their rude behavior and foul language. i havent talked to the mom because i know shes aware of the way her kids behave.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:13 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • You are trying to protect her from what she will be dealing with for the rest of her life, let her make her own choices and let her fall in her face if need be..this is how we all learn.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:18 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

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