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My husband wants to go active duty. What can I expect?

I am helping him study for the asvab and get all the needed records together. I'll also have to go in front of a judge to be allowed to take my 2 from previous marriage with us wherever he is stationed which I believe will be granted. My question is, he goes to basic training, then what? How soon before he gets stationed somewhere else and how soon can we follow and live on base? Does the military pay for us or at least his wife to fly out to the base? Any advice and experiences you can share? Thanks so much! Btw, he's going into the Army, active duty.

I figured, since I'll have to quit my job to go be with my husband, I'll have to acclimate to being a stay at home mommy which I am excited about. Are there support groups and stuff for the spouses?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Jul. 30, 2013 in Military

Answers (15)
  • depends on what he does in the army. he might just do basic training and go straight to his duty station, or he might go to a 3 weeks school after basic, or a 9 week school after basic. It just depends on his MOS (job). We did NOT get any help moving me from our residence to his first duty station in TX. You might not want to be a stay at home mom with 2 children, your husband wont be making very much money his first year. Our first yr we lived on base and only made $1000 a month. It was a struggle with car payment and car insurance and we didn't have kids yet.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 4:41 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • You have a lot more to acclimate to with the military lifestyle than just being a SAHM.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 4:44 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • Such a true statement Izsarejman!

    It's like a whole different world! Acronyms all the time, never knowing a persons first name because you only hear them called by their last name, a part time Single parent, you have to really be secure in your relationship to make it work. Real Army life is NOTHNG like the show (s), either the Lifetime show or the "reality" show that they had for a while.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 4:47 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • A good number of military moms work outside the home as well.

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:48 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • Being forced to move, starting new schools, difficulty in employment because you are transient, long paydays. This one started on the 12th of July. Too long. New doctors, dentists, saving to move all the time, difficulty finding friends.

    Really it's just lonely and sucks not having much control over your life or that of your children. You have to work around the military and never the other way around.

    I'm not discouraging you or trying to. I've lived this lifestyle since 1994. I'm just giving input. It's not always the tear jerking homecomings.

    Good luck though.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 4:54 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • I've never watched the show Military wives or Army wives whatever you call it. It sounds like maybe I should stay behind until tax return time so I can afford to fly us out to be closer to him. We want our children to travel and live abroad not just in the US.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:11 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • Our #1 reason for him joining is for his own education and training since he hasn't gone to college and we do not want him to sink into student loan debt. We also wants to travel.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:12 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • You know you don't get a choice where you go right? Our first duty station was El Paso TX, not exactly an awesome place. We did get lucky and get Italy though so ya travel is a great possibility but it is extremely hard on your family. My 6yr old cries all the time because he misses his dad, my husband is getting out because he hates watching his children grow up on facebook. it's not for everyone.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 5:41 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • My husband grew up in the military, his dad served 20 years. He described the hardships so I get that and appreciate the advice. It's just that this is his choice and I am backing him up so I am just looking for tips and what to expect.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:00 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • I wouldn't change this experience for the world, BUT he joined when it was just us two no kids, I don't even know how it would work with you having children already and such a small paycheck to start. I am actually nervous for him to get out next year because this is the only life we have known. He joined the Army a week after we got married so I don't even know how to live in the civilian world.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 6:12 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

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