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I need some more ideas on disciplining my girls ages 6-8

My daughters ages 6 and 8. Are getting a little bit older, and it seemed like just yesterday they were the happy go lucky girls that only wanted to make me happy! However, not they are becoming rebellious, and they are starting to disobey me... a lot! I've tried time outs on the wall, but that is just ineffective. I've tried sitting them down and writing "I will listen to my mother" over and over. I have grounded them and restricted them from going outside to play with their friends. I just don't know what else to do, but these are proving to be just as ineffective as time outs on the wall, and the thing that scares me the most is that if I don't stop it now it's only going to get worse and carry into their teenage years! Other mothers have suggested I spank them, but with all due respect I'm trying to avoid that road.Does anyone have any suggestions, or can someone share what they do as a form of discipline? Age appropriate of course.

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Asked by babyangelromero at 5:02 PM on Jul. 30, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 17 (4,048 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • It depends on what they are doing.
    I have always believed in the "let the punishment fit the crime" philosophy
    So if they scribble on the wall, they have to clean it off I would not put chemicals in the water to make it easier either.
    I realize that is not the problem but it does give an example.

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:07 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • anestheticsex

    Answer by anestheticsex at 5:09 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • lol anesthetic

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:11 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • yes, definitely I agree with that also. Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time finding a punishment. What about if I tell them to do something and they don't listen. Like when they wake up in the morning and they don't make their beds, or brush their teeth. I guess it might help to share that my mom was very abusive. So if I didn't do something she would hit me. Even if it was something as small as not brushing my teeth. I don't want to do that to my kids, but because I didn't have another example I kinda feel like I don't know what I'm doing...

    Comment by babyangelromero (original poster) at 5:11 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • Stand there and make them stay right there until they complete the task.
    You do not have to spank them. I did but I can count on one hand the number of times I spanked and I had two kids.

    On the making the bed, I will offer this example.
    DS would not make his bed and it was not possible to outwait him because we would miss school. He figured this out early.
    My solution was that all beds have to be made before you go to bed and there was no ifs and or buts about bed time.
    How annoying to have to make your bed just to have to undo it to get in and go to sleep.
    He tried waiting me out on the evening as well. Bed time just got earlier and earlier.
    In the game of stubborn, guess who won?

    Sometimes you have to be creative.
    Brushing teeth was something we started when they were first able to hold the brush. At that time, they brushed and then we finished up the job.

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:20 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • We inspect washing up and that includes teeth brushing and hair brushing. If it isn't done well, back in you go.
    It took one time of me going in and brushing my 8 year old daughter's teeth for her, to decide this wasnot going to be a battle she would win.


    Answer by Dardenella at 5:22 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • What's their favorite thing? Once you've figured that out, it's easy. Bedtime worked when my kids were that age. Each time I had to repeat something, they lost 15 mins from bedtime. They are now almost 12 and 13, it still works. I rarely have to repeat myself.

    Answer by missanc at 5:26 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • My grandchildren have piggy banks and when they get defiant they are told they will start losing quarters from the piggy bank. It's what works with them. You literally need to find the "currency" that's whatever is the most important thing to the child.  Each kid has a "currency".  With my youngest it was watching the trash truck go through the neighborhood.  I got miles out of that activity because he loved it so much!   It's just one example.  What was important changed as he got older.


    Answer by silverthreads at 5:27 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • My mom was abusive, too, so hitting was the only example I really had. At least I know what not to do. For my five-year-old, taking coins away for defiance or mouthiness seems to be working. Getting sent to bed early or losing a trip to the swimming pool, or not getting to watch a favorite TV show, also work to make her re-evaluate her behavior. I think the most important thing is staying calm when you have to deal out a punishment, so it can't be turned into an "I'm mad at you because you're mad at me" fight. The consequence loses its effectiveness if both of you get spun up and yell or fuss at each other.

    Answer by Ballad at 5:33 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

  • Try positive reinforcement for listening rather than punishing for disobeying.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 7:14 PM on Jul. 30, 2013

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