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What to do with a 5 yr old obsessed with a dad he has never seen?

My son is obsessed with his dad that he doesn't know, I had tried to get his dad involved before cuz I knew this would happen but he always had an excuse why not. Well the other day my son accused me of keeping him from him so I let him call him up and now supposidly his dad is coming next week but now when I pick him up from school he says stuff like my daddy loves me will give me everything I want or oh is he waiting in the car and when opening door will go DADDY oh he isn't here.
Any ideas on how to handle this? I don't want to say nasty things or put ideas in his head but what do I say?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Feb. 18, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (4)
  • Personally, if it were my kid, I'd take him to see a counselor...and send his "dad" the bill.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • He does see a counselor . . that is a good idea
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Okay the statement you knew this would happen, set up warning flashes to me, b/c its a road I've been down. In general I would advice letting him call his dad as often as he wants. Tell dad he can't say he's coming unless he is and you DON'T TALK ABOUT DAD>
    When he mentions him, offer to call for him if he can't himself and then just let it be. Let them work it out toghether, why doesn't dad come? I don't know honey I think he's just far away/working whatever that is NOT negative and as he gets older let him call dad and ask.
    Let him make the relationship and let it have little to nothing to do with you. He will settle down with brief ups in obsessions and downs.
    And you could also ask his counselor what he suggests.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:32 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • My daughter went through this and it was a bigger issue in Kindergarten. Her teacher called and said she talks about her dad all the time. I called a counselor and he said she is doing this as a defense because kids at school ask questions. Where is your dad? and it is easier if they have answers to these questions. give him as much information as possible. Sometimes they just want to feel normal and have what other kids have. If you can tell him facts like things about his dad. My daughter knows a few of her dad interests and some information. she will tell stories to her friends of things they did when she was 3 cause she doesn't have anything more recent to tell them.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 10:12 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

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