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Talking to DD' teacher about her learning ability...without sounding like a bragging parent,,,?

We want to talk to DD's new kinder teacher about her abilities but we don't want to come off as crazy parents who are trying to do the teachers job for them. However we feel it is only fair to our DD that the teacher is aware from Day 1 that she is well beyond her age group in spelling, reading and writing and possibly math. (She basically did kindergarten in pre-k because she was ahead of the 4 year olds-so they stuck her in with the private kinder students)) I know the teacher would figure it out for herself after a while but the last thing we want is for her to get bored with school when she, right now, loves learning so much. She is so excited to be in 'big girl school' and be learning new things and I hate for her to get in there and the entire year i a review. I looked into our school district and she *Could* skip a grade or she *could* skip a grade in certain subjects. We of course want to do what they recommend... I just want to make sure we keep school fun for her. How would you address the subject with the teacher to not sound pushy or crazy? lol


Asked by But_Mommie at 10:17 AM on Jul. 31, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 44 (181,645 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I suggest that if you talk to the teacher just focus on communicating your worries/fears and your hopes. Say that you're afraid your daughter might end up bored or might not see school/learning as fun. Say based on her abilities & experience you're a bit worried about kindergarten being all review of stuff she already knows, and you don't want this dynamic to negatively impact her relationship to school and learning.
    This gives the teacher an idea of what your fears are and it shares your actual concerns without focusing on is she/isn't she, and trying to show or prove that she's advanced. The issue isn't really whether or not she is advanced; it's that you want her abilities & her personal experiences in the classroom to be noticed so she doesn't slip into some crack & end up tuning out.

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:05 PM on Jul. 31, 2013

  • When my son went into kinder their first day was spent "testing" so the teacher knew where they were at progress wise, so your school might do that as well. Before calling them and saying your child is ahead ask them if they do this testing. And you never know, she may be amazing with you and then clam up with her teacher and not do so well.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 10:21 AM on Jul. 31, 2013

  • if she is that advanced, you may want to skip ahead a grade

    at least in my school district
    the teacher will follow the basics for all the kids, some will be ahead, some behind, most in the middle
    and from all i have heard most will even out in a couple years (with less ahead, and less behind)

    imo, and from what our school district stresses
    is kindergarten is the basic letters and math and such
    but most for social interaction, following directions, self help skills and self esteem

    if you think that she is socially advanced as well as above her peers in math, reading etc- then skip her up
    but.. the social part will be harder when she reaches preteen and teen years

    my sister has a brilliant child, and schools wanted her to skip her ahead many times over the years, sister did not- just because of the social aspect. she is now 16, taking advanced classes, but with her peers

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:33 AM on Jul. 31, 2013

  • one year of kindergarten?

    if they can give advanced work in kindergarten- great!
    and she is one of oldest so that is good if in future you want to skip her ahead

    my district has not have any advanced stuff in kindergarten
    but they do have better than average special ed (which my daughter has)

    sounds like the right school for yours
    just mention to teacher that your child might be ahead of peers
    and let them test, first few weeks are a bit crazy- getting all kids (and teachers) settled into a rountine
    so give it a month before you hear back about testing

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:26 AM on Jul. 31, 2013

  • do you have two years of kindergarten or one
    (we have two years in my state)
    if two- let her do the first year, and if she is ready- do not do 2nd year- skip her then to first grade

    if only one
    then i would just let her be- see how she does
    can not imagine her being bored in kindergarten, as in my district, kindergarten is not so much the letters, math etc- it is mostly fun play- with getting learning the basics into the play

    there is time to skip her ahead- doe snot have to be skipping kindergarten
    and there is that social part to consider
    a year younger is huge when itcomes to the social ins and outs with peers
    what is her age- does she fall into one of the oldest or youngest in her class?

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:55 AM on Jul. 31, 2013

  • Okay the good news is that they will most likely figure this out, when my son was little, he was moved to advanced classes with the 1st and 2nd graders for reading, and math, then he went the rest of the day with his peers. They will spend the first week or so figuring out where and what your daughter needs.
    Kindergarten is as much about structure and routine as it is about learning. I wouldn't press them to allow her to "skip" a grade as of yet, she needs to learn the basics of school function, as in sharing, paying attention, standing in line and what not.
    I wouldn't jump the gun with your teacher as of yet, give it a couple of weeks for her to get used to school.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 11:09 AM on Jul. 31, 2013

  • ps
    if you have time, sign up for parent volunteer for certain classes or parties etc
    gets you in the room to see how your child is doing with peers and lets you see how the class runs

    if lots of time, ask to be one of the room moms- they organize events etc
    you will get to have more face time (although could very well be email time) with the teacher

    my district is school is closed up tight, and hard to get in to see when school is in session
    being a parent volunteer, gets you in while kids in class to see how it really is


    Answer by fiatpax at 11:36 AM on Jul. 31, 2013

  • Don't mean to derail your post, but I found THIS today and immediately thought of you. I know its not MLP, but it's unicorns and rainbows.


    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:38 PM on Jul. 31, 2013

  • There is pretty much nothing you can do. You can warn the teacher all you want but she is going to be bored. They can't give her a different curric than the rest of the class has. So unless you skip her, which you probably shouldn't do, this year will be kind of bad for her, but 1st grade will be a lot better.

    Answer by kmath at 10:33 AM on Jul. 31, 2013

  • I wouldn't go with the "my child is advanced, she'll be bored" approach. I think a lot of parents think their kids are advanced and tell the teachers that, so the teacher may not put too much stock in what you're saying.

    Instead, I'd approach it as "she did Kindergarten level work last year, so I'm concerned about boredom." This way, it's about what she's actually done, rather than what comes across as a subjective opinion from you. I'd explain that the teacher(s) she had last year gave her kindergarten work, because that's easily proven. You can then ask what can be done to keep her interested when the work is stuff she saw last year, and what you can do to help with that. That way it shows that you're not simply trying to be a bragging parent, but want to work together to ensure your child is getting the best education she can possibly get.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 1:20 PM on Jul. 31, 2013