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My son doesn't listen!

My son is almost 4. I share custody with his father. I try to have consisentcy as much as possible. I have him in Gymnastics. I notice with that and other sports he doesn't always listen. I'm just wondering if there are tips or tools you suggest for getting him to listen. I see the future with him being a little hellen if I don't get it shaped up here as I just want him to succeed and if he doesn't follow directions and stare off into space and do the exact opposite what can I do to change that. He has been tested he does have a slight language delay but he is able to follow directions I see it every so often. But I think he's getting joy out of not listening. any suggestions. please help!??

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Sillylins

Asked by Sillylins at 12:23 PM on Aug. 1, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 27 (31,211 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • He is probably sense your frustration and pretends not to hear ya etc..kids do find joy in annoying parents or getting any type of reaction.....you need to look him in the eyes when you talk to him, then ask him if he understood..and if this doesn't work a little punishment for listening might be the right thing ...take away activities he likes, and tell him he will not do this until he listens.....

    older

    Answer by older at 12:29 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

  • You have to train him to listen and to obey. You do that by meting out consequences every time he doesn't. And you only tell him once, no threatening and no counting and no reasoning. He understands perfectly well what he's doing to you and he also knows that you are supposed to be in control, but that he is the one calling the shots. Failure to listen and obey demonstrates disobedience and lack of respect--the two things my husband and I spanked butts for when our now grown children were 3 and 4 years old.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:44 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

  • 1) It's normal for a 4 year old to have selective hearing. Cure: wait for him to grow out of this phase. Also, make sure your routines and consequences are the same and predictable every time.

    2) It's normal for kids to come back from visitations and be little shits, especially if the routines are vastly different from one house to the other. My friend's kid has visitation with her bio dad once a month, and comes back from that a little bitch. While at bio's she rules the roost and her every whim is catered to. That doesn't happen at home and she's a nightmare when she first comes back.

    Cure: keep your consistency and routines. He WILL come out of this annoying phase.....eventually.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:56 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

  • You're watching him at gymnastics and noticing that he doesn't always listen well to the instructor, that he is staring off into space (while the instructor talks or demonstrates), and that he doesn't follow directions in gymnastics & other sports. He is three (almost four.)
    That's what I got from your question.
    I think it is normal (not unusual, and not indicating a specific problem) for young kids to tune out in an organized, directed activity. It may be a fun activity but there is a lot being put on them/expected of them in that situation.
    You want him to be successful in life, and you want to see him cooperating in a class situation (not just tumbling or climbing when others are following some specific instruction.) Seeing that he DOESN'T easily follow directions triggers worry about the future, but the simple fact that he's spacey or into "just having fun" in that setting at this age doesn't doom his future success.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 2:11 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

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