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How can you forget your ex boyfriend?

Well I was 22 when I went out with this guy that I met. We started seeing eachother regularly and for like 6 months but then I had a friend suppose friend but she stop talking to me because she was messing around with him behind my back I got prego but he told me I was going to mess up his life so I did what I had to do which I do regret but later on I found out she was prego from him so I just started trying to let go the love I had for him fade but I still have him in my heart I still love him regardless I dont really know if she is with him or not but I cant get him off my mind since I saw her about a month ago. I am married now and have 3 wonderful girls. But I am just going crazy at times because of him!!! What should I do? I wish I could see him again but I dont know how to find him or go about it please if someone has gone thru this let me know what should I do?

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MzMaria1

Asked by MzMaria1 at 4:55 PM on Feb. 18, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Every time you think of him, hug your man or your girls. Do something cuddly. He is a horrible person who asked you to kill someone because it was inconvenient for him. He is a sort of fantasy person for you, representing a time when you didn't have responsibilites etc. Instead of spending time thinking about *him,* think about your beautiful family, and your husband who loves you and wants -all- of the babies you've given to him. I hope that helps?
    Trixiebelle2

    Answer by Trixiebelle2 at 5:00 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • The best thing to do is to let go honey! Easier said than done I know. But what kind of a man was he in the first place? Yanno?! You and him having a child together was going to "Mess up his life", he was cheating on you behind your back, etc. He wasn't any kind of a real man to do those things to you in the first place.
    Take a long hard look at your DH and the girls you have with him. Would you want to risk losing that in order to see if an "EX" has changed. It's perfectly normal to still have love for an EX but NEVER act on those feelings. You may have loved the man he was back then, but who's to say if he has changed any, or is still cheating around on the woman he is with now. I wish you the best of luck, but you do need to look at your DH and your kids and know that you are better off without the EX in your life!
    MyMayBaby_Chloe

    Answer by MyMayBaby_Chloe at 5:00 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • There is NO reason to even think about him anymore.

    You have been pregnant with his child and he said you ruin his life, That simply states the fact that he is an total asshole and not worth your time.

    I take it that you had an abortion because he said that to you? If so, then i think thats the only reason why you still think about him. You regret it, which i totally understand, but you cant go back in time. No matter what you did, its the past. You thought you "had to" do what you did. Back then you thought it was right. Leave it that way. He is an idiot for cheating on you with your "friend", he is an idiot for saying what he said to you.

    You need to look forward. Dont bother with the past. Let it go. I know its hard, but you will make it. you always have to tell yourself that he is not worth it. you are married now, and i think you love your hubby?! 3 great kids. That should make you happy enough.

    *hugs*
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 5:00 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • I have had this problem, too. Even though you are happy with your man and your family, something inside you will not let go. It just has to fade over time, but trust me, IT WILL FADE.

    Some days you will wake up from a dream about him and it starts all over. It must be how women are wired. Once you give your heart and body to a guy, a piece of you is forever stuck on him....even if he is no good, and you know it!

    My advice is to resist the urge to get in touch with him. It can only lead to heartache and possibly crush your husband if he knew. I'm sure you wouldn't want to hurt him or your kids, so it's just best to push this ex out of your mind and remind yourself of all the wonderful things about your husband.
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 5:02 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • It sounds like you have emotional unfinished business with him. Just remember how much of a jerk he was to you. Don't let him ruin your life anymore, be done with him. Maybe you can do something symbolic like writing him a letter and telling him all the things about your life you love now that he never would have been able to give you. You don't need to mail the letter, but be done with him.

    Also, what is going on that you feel the need to look back instead of forward. We all do this when a need is being ignored. Or, this may be your way of mourning what you lost.

    All the other advice is really great too. I hope the best for you,
    chocolateroses

    Answer by chocolateroses at 5:09 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • I'm in the same boat sorta of. Except I never got pregnant, but we dated for 5 years from the time I was 17 until I was 22. We even lived together and then one day he was like I don't love you anymore. Totally out from left field, especially since the night before he was telling me how much he loved and how he wanted to do so many things with me. Anyways I think that's why I still think about him. Because even after we broke up, we still talked to for about 2 years. I felt that I still loved him. But realized I was just hurting myself in thinking and talking to him. Now 5 years later I'm married and have a 3 month old and still think about him every now and then. Especially around his birthday and in the summer time. We would always have an awesome time during summer. But still I know I love my husband and couldn't be happier.

    xocyncyn

    Answer by xocyncyn at 6:04 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • this sounds crazy,but it worked for me.i had a 'conversation'with him.sat alone in my room,and told him everything i have ever wanted to tell him,everything he did to hurt me,how i feel and why,etc.and then after i was finished i said 'i forguve you,for all you have done to me'.you know?it worked,it was like a load off my heart,he has not taken a second of my life ever since.yes i was talking to myself,but i let my feelings out,and i released them back into the universe,and now im not carrying them anymore.
    2ndtimemom605

    Answer by 2ndtimemom605 at 7:08 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

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