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Crush on my chiropractor, is the feeling mutual or I am I reading into it too much?

I recently started seeing a chiropractor, never been before so not sure what't "normal." I was attracted to him right away. He is divorced like me and we have had conversations about divorce, kids etc... As time as gone on I have developed a crush and think he has one too. Maybe I am wrong. I told him at my appt the other day that I was stressed and it was causing my back pain to be worse, he said if I ever needed to talk, I could call the office after hours and when it prompts you to call the "in case of emergency number" that is his phone number and I can use it. He also took the time to give me a back massage after adjusting me. Is this normal at the chiropractor?? There has also been some minor flirting. I feel like an idiot for asking but I am new to this whole being single thing.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Aug. 1, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • It is grossly inappropriate. My advice would be to run, not walk, to another chiropractor. Keep in mind that his license is on the line. You need to keep personal separate from professional and he should know better.

    I've worked in healthcare for 15 years and I have seen more than one medical provider lose everything because of these sorts of situations.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 10:45 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

  • He is a professional. If he handles it any other way than "professional", you need to NOT go to him again. Just think of it this way... you are NOT his only client. I wonder how many other women he does the same with, right?!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:45 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

  • I would not read anything into this. If he is interested, he will call you. If that does't happen, he is not interested.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:46 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

  • LOL. Ask him for a happy ending.

    For real, though, that is not appropriate. If he wants to see you outside of the office, he'll ask you out., but then you should find a new Dr.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 10:52 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

  • I guess I don't get what is inappropriate. He hasn't touched me in some weird way or said or done anything to make me uncomfortable.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:57 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

  • Every medical board I've ever had experience with has very very clear expectations and guidelines about professional relationships with patients. The back massage and him giving you permission to call him after hours "just to talk" is dangerously close to crossing that line.

    These rules were put into place because patients often develop feelings for their medical providers but, more often than not, those feelings stem from events that are occurring in the patient's life that may cloud their judgement. Whether it's accurate or not in your case is irrelevant. The bottom line is that skating up to that boundary, should it become public knowledge, will absolutely put his license at risk. If you're that interested in him, let him know that you're leaving his practice because you're respectful of his job but that he's certainly welcome to contact you when you're no longer his patient. Then everyone is protected.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 11:04 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

  • Any chiropractors that I have experience with DON'T massage you. They usually employ a masseuse who they set you up an appointment with if they deem that is to be part of your treatment. So that's pretty inappropriate to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

  • The flirting, the massage and the allowing you to use his number if you need to talk are all borderline. And if the feeling is mutual, he shouldn't still be your dr. I guess if it were me, the next time he starts minor flirting, I would ask if it's time to find a different chiropractor. Ask so that you can pass it off as joking but that he also gets the message that he needs to keep work and personal separate. He may be trying to see if you are interested before making a move.

    Or maybe during your visit if he is flirting, jokingly ask him what the policy is on dating his patients. If he answers that it is forbidden, joke that you may have to find a new chiropractor.
    tempsingl3mom

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 11:08 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

  • The chiropractor is in a position of trust. That goes for most professionals. He should not develop a personal relationship with any of his patients, period, end of story.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:12 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

  • Um, of course not. You seem to enjoy "thinking" he means more.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:23 PM on Aug. 1, 2013

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