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Hubby keeps looking up his ex girlfriends. Should I be worried?

I found a website by accident that had a great recipe on it. I wrote it down but a week later when I was ready to make it I couldn't find it. So I looked in my history to find the website & I see that he's been looking up his ex girlfriends. Two weeks ago he looked up one. Then 4 days ago he looked up another (lets call her Sue). And again yesterday he looked up Sue again. He made SEVERAL attempts to find her on twitter, facebook, etc...! Funny thing is my hubby & I don't have facebook, twitter, etc..!

He has told me time & time again he REFUSES to have one because of all the drama of our ex's looking us up (back when we had myspace). Three months ago I caught him actually looking up a different ex girlfriend that use to work at Hooters. I was upset because we recently went through some hard times & this wasn't helping. He apologized again & again. I let it go. But now he's doing it again. And SUE of all girlfriends SUE. Back story is long but of all his ex's the only one I don't like is Sue. She's a home-wrecker. She'd be happy to destroy our family if she could. If she knew he was looking her up that's all the motivation she'd need & he knows this. Should I be worried or am I making a big deal out of nothing?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:13 AM on Aug. 2, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Yeah- that would bug me. There is NO reason that he needs to be hunting down old girlfriends.

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:52 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • "She'd be happy to destroy our family if she could"

    Well, if she could, that's not her fault, that's his. And it wouldn't be just her, it would be any woman - ex or not. I don't know if you're making a big deal out of nothing, because I don't know his motivation. I've looked up a couple of my exes before, not because I wanted to get back together or try to destroy their marriages or whatever, but just because I was honestly curious to know how they were. The ones that I found, I looked at their profile, saw they were happily married or happily divorced, had no kids or 10 kids, or whatever, and that was it. I didn't even send a message to say hi.

    So it can be perfectly innocent sometimes. The fact that you have to ask this, tells me you know this probably isn't. I'd keep an eye on it, and if it keeps going, sit down and find out what he thinks he's doing.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:22 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • The gentleman doth protest too much. Hell yes you should be worried and you should be dragging him to counseling.

    I don't have problems with looking up exes; DH and I have both done it and we don't consider it a big deal because we know NOTHING will happen (except the "Oh my God you've changeD" reactions, which we've both gotten). But your husband specifically made a huge deal of it, and is doing it anyway. Hypocrisy is usually a cover for bad news.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:31 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:01 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • Sounds like you should be worried.
    Why the need to look up ex's?

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 9:40 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • I would keep tabs on that.

    Answer by morebee7 at 5:22 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • The hard times you and him went thru has not been solved. Maybe some counseling will help.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:43 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • Hmmm I would wonder why he has suddenly changed his mind about not wanting all of the 'drama' of past ex's and social networking. I would tell him that his change in attitude and his going behind my back to look up ex's (especially this troublemaker wannabe "SUE") bothers me, and I don't like this sneaky behavior. I would also tell him that since he feels free to look up his past ex's then it is ok for me to assume that I can look up any guy I choose as well! {remind him that what is good for the gander is good for the goose too!). Maybe him thinking about you looking up ex's will make him see reason and stop his behavior.
    I also think that counseling might be a good idea. good luck!

    Answer by MizLee at 10:50 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • Don't you ever wonder what happened to so and so? I would think he is using your account to do it, so I doubt there is too much more going on other than wondering.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 10:58 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • buy this program, install it on your computer
    find out exactly what he is doing- not just the history that he will be deleting now that he knows that you know

    there is a group on here that helps women find out what the hell their men are doing- very helpful ladies
    something like... detective wives club

    yes- you should be worried (imo)

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:03 AM on Aug. 2, 2013