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I married a man who had 3 kids 7 and 12, their father had custody of them when i married him and their mother had other children and did not come to see them unless me and my husband paid for it...

they became resentful of their steparent and it has always been that way the 12 old has always been rebellious , now adults she still causes issues what can a step mom do //

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tracy587

Asked by tracy587 at 4:12 AM on Aug. 2, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • She may need counseling to deal with issues of abandonment, etc. The preteen years are hard, blended families are hard, together they can be very difficult!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:00 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • WELL YOU NEED TRY YOUR BEST AS POSSIBLE TO SIT AND HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HER ABOUT THE ISSUE. IF SHE'S BEING RESENTFUL AFTER A COUPLE OF ATTEMPTS SEEK PROFESSIONAL ADVICE.
    ALL THE BEST...
    ZOE805

    Answer by ZOE805 at 9:06 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • I married a man who had 3 kids 7 and 12

    How old is the third one?
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 9:35 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • So which one is twins?
    If the kids are grown. You can ignore there BS.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:48 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • What kind of issues? If they're adults, then that means they shouldn't be in your house anymore, so I really have to wonder what kind of issues they could be causing that are affecting you and your marriage at this point.

    To be honest, I don't know that there's much you CAN do. Her mother basically abandoned her, it sounds like, and that's a rough thing to deal with. But SHE has to be the one to deal with it - you can't do that for her, and you can't force her to do it. You can suggest she get some counseling to help her deal with it, or offer to be a shoulder and a listening ear if she wants to talk to you, but short of holding a gun to her head (which I wouldn't recommend!), I really don't know that there's much else you can do.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 10:32 AM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • As a stepmom, all you can do is support your stepdaughter without enabling her, and without letting her trample on your rights as a wife and a human being. Beyond that, without knowing any other details, it's hard to give you a clear answer.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:16 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

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